What can make you smile after failing your Organic Chemistry final, missing the shuttle from GLC when class starts in three minutes, and almost being trampled over by Rocky at a basketball game? You guessed it: an orgasm. If you’ve experienced one in the short time you’ve lived, then you have probably lived through what some would call a life-changing experience. If you haven’t, then you have much to look forward to in your sex life.
What may come as a shock to many is the fact that only 30 percent of women experience an orgasm solely from penetration. Most times, women need stimulation of the clitoris, whether it is through a bright pink vibrator or through their partner literally giving them a hand.
The likelihood of a man climaxing is far greater than the likelihood of a woman doing so. Some women can have sex over and over again with different individuals and still may not be able to reach a climax, while a man can have sex for several minutes and be able to do so. It has been proven that a man only needs to be stimulated for two to three minutes in order to have an orgasm, while a woman would require 10 times as much time to do so.
The guys definitely have the upper hand on this one, since it is clear that orgasmic experiences may be much rarer for women than they are for men.
Here’s where things get complicated: Women are a lot more likely to fake an orgasm in comparison to men. After stressing about the difficulties of collegiate life, no one wants to have to worry about one extra thing. Sex is supposed to be fun and relaxing, but things become stressful fast when one is forced to fake an orgasm after her partner’s attempt has failed.
One reason for this is because after faking a climax for so long, for some people, it may start to feel like an obligation or a chore. Of course, no one wants to make their partner feel as though they are sexually inadequate or incapable of making their sex life an orgasmic experience. So under many circumstances, they may feel compelled to make their partner believe they are in fact satisfying their sexual needs. Ultimately, the excitement of the experience is lost when it feels forced rather than natural.
Making your partner feel as though they are in fact satisfying you can lead to a bigger problem poor sex techniques.
Usually when someone’s partner feels as though they are capable of satisfying them, they tend to remain consistent in their sexual techniques. Why fix what isn’t broken?
This becomes problematic because while the two of you are under the sheets and you’re falsely moaning and groaning, you are only making things worse for yourself. Your partner is satisfied at the end of the experience, but you are left disappointed and unfulfilled.
What is probably the least important aspect of faking an orgasm, but essentially one of people’s biggest concerns in doing so? It is doing it the correct and most convincing manner. Many people talk about the orgasm face and the right way to sound when climaxing and the proper way to react during a climax.
What may be most stressful about the expectations of what an orgasm looks, feels and sounds like is that those who find it necessary to fake one might feel pressure to conform to that expectation. Who wants to worry about making sure their orgasm face looks good during sex?
All of these stressful aspects of faking an orgasm should be the last thing on someone’s mind during sex. Intercourse should be an experience that people look forward to, not one to dread.
If this is an issue in your relationship, talk to your partner and suggest ways in which you two could enhance your sexual experience even if it means just using your hand to stimulate your clitoris. It’s a lot less to worry about than having to fake a pleasurable experience, and it will leave you both satisfied in the end.
Cooper is a member of
the class of 2011.
