Well friends, Meliora weekend has come and gone. This can only mean one thing: winter is on its way to Rochester. While Meliora Weekend lasted a mere four days, winter unfortunately lasts until about March, and by my math, that’s almost a year.
While the early months here have been wonderful, T-shirts and flip-flops just will not suffice for your trip to class. There are several steps that need to be taken if you want to stay warm enough to make it to another summer.
Let’s start with the obvious: a jacket. Now there is a great deal of variation in which jacket you choose, and the one you settle on really depends on where you call home.
I myself, being from the greater Buffalo area have no problem with the snow or wind chill, so a simple wool jacket and scarf is usually enough to get me through nice and toasty-like.
However, my fellow students from the south, who may not be exactly accustomed to, oh I don’t know, more than two seasons, may want to opt for some further bulk in the coming months. Now, don’t be embarrassed to go to class wearing thermal underwear, two long sleeve shirts, your thickest hoodie and the largest down jacket that man has ever seen.
Don’t forget to wear the insulated boots with wool socks, and for good measure, you might as well tuck whatever pants you’re wearing into your boots as well, because lord knows you don’t want to let snow hit your ankle. That will ruin your entire week, trust me, it’s worse than falling up stairs in front of someone you like.
While this may seem like a good idea now, let me warn you, the second you get into any building you will regret ever having put clothes on at all. The academic areas are almost always unforgivingly cruel to you in all of your layers. But don’t worry if you start stripping because you can use the mountain of clothing you remove as a sort of improvised cushion to sit on in class.
While these may seem like the only viable options, I, or rather the students of Rochester, say, ‘Nay.” There is a plethora of other ways to stay warm. One other crafty idea is based on residential situation. Live near the entrance of the tunnel system? Own a hoodie? Good to go.
This strategy ditches all the heavy bulk of jackets, which really burden you and constrict your movements worse than a jealous girlfriend, in favor of the agility associated with a hoodie.
You’re able to dash from doorway to doorway, weaving in between each individual snowflake, blowing past those suckers wearing those burdensome coats. It is quite the popular choice here among students, if they have the residential qualifications.
Another option, although a bit more rare, is flat out ignoring the fact that it’s winter in Rochester. You can’t be bothered by something that you’re not paying any attention to. Allow me to say that I am not, nor have ever been a supporter of this technique, and write about it now for purely educational purposes.
That out of the way, the crazy cats who laugh in the face of frost bite do their best to carry on in flip flops, T-shirts and shorts well into December until they are finally forced to bring out a fleece pullover. I’d like to point out these fleece pullovers are typically made of bright out of season colors, so their bodies can later be discovered should they happen to succumb to the fact that it is winter.
There is a final option that exists out there, and this option is for the reader who is sitting at home saying: ‘Well Christopher, this is all fine and dandy, but you know what? I don’t much care for class, and I don’t much care for coats, and I don’t much care for the cold, but I still have places to be.” You, my friend, are destined to be a proponent of the vodka theory of winter transportation.
You will see many supporters of this theory during the winter months, especially later at night on Fridays and Saturdays, and perhaps more specifically between Sue B. and the Frat quad.
Yes, vodka will keep you plenty warm as you scurry from point to point in search of fun. No need to worry about the snowflakes or wind chill, like jackets, the more vodka you have the less the weather matters.
So friends, I know it’s still early, but be proactive not reactive. Hopefully, winter will decide to attack Florida and not New York, but as that’s not in the least likely, review the methods and start planning. But remember, we’ll know you’re drunk if it’s Friday and you don’t have a jacket on.
Bierasinski is a member of the class of 2010.