Aries (March 21-April 19) – The planets are aligned so that if you put a dozen eggs on your desk, they will stand on their ends. If you play any Rod Stewart song, they will spin. If you play a Mariah Carey song, they will crack. I just turned your life into a dozen eggs. Damn, I’m good.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Try breaking out into song in the middle of the day. Let’s say when you’re standing in line at the Pit, jump up on a table and sing any Phil Collins or Michael Bolton song for the greatest effect. If Hercules could go the distance, so can you.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) – Much love to the Geminis up in Rochester. Just nod your head to the flow of life. Other people won’t know what you’re doing, but they will be jealous and want to be part of your club.

Cancer (June 22-July 22) – Keep smiling. I know last week sucked, so you’re gonna need to keep showing your fronts in order to make the pain go away. Feel better?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) – I would like to take this time to apologize for your horoscope last week. It sucked. Too bad I used this space for my formal apology. Otherwise, I could have told you your very important astrological prediction.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – Walk up to someone this week and say, “Why you gotta be so omnipotent all the time?” If they reply with, “Cuz the voices all around me gimme the lowdown twenty-fo’ seven,” give them five dollars, a hug and send them on their merry way.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) – If someone asks you why you’re so omnipotent, reply with “‘Cuz the voices all around me gimme the lowdown twenty-fo’ seven.” You’ll get five dollars, a hug and then be sent on your merry way.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) – You’re gonna get laid.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) – Start calling Clay Aiken, “Ceramic Aiken.”

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) – Don’t go to parties with metal detectors. Sure, it feels safe inside, but think about all them playas outside with guns. They know you ain’t got one.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) – Ever wonder how an elephant would make for a pet? I know you do, because I write the horoscopes and can read your mind. They would make a sweet pet. Also, yeah, he’s cheating.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) – Stop cheating on Aquarius – it’s just a board game.

(If you actually believe this, then you really do believe that it won’t be snowing by this weekend.)

My alarm clock woke me at the painful stroke of 7:00am. Slowly, I turned the alarm off and rolled out of bed, but wait, I had no class today, no work to be done. Then, as I stood in my dorm room in Gilbert it dawned on me… today was my day; today was everyone’s day. It was the day all the upperclassman had told me about. The day when you call your friend at school that first year of college and tell them how much more fun you are having then them. Today was Dandelion Day at the University of Rochester.

I remember hitting the fraternity quad at about 8:00am my freshman year, half laughing at myself for how early it was. Then, I stepped onto the quad, it was packed. Sporadic chairs and couches were strewn across the lawn. I thought this should be a day I would never forget, and I was right.

I have been to a lot of events on this campus; plays, athletic competitions, themed parties and the like. If you have been here for six months you have done the same. However, when it comes to bringing the student community together, nothing compares to D-Day.

Well nothing did anyway. As a member of the Fraternity President’s Council (FPC), and a proud brother at Delta Kappa Epsilon (DKE), I am asking the students of this Campus to take D-Day back. Whether you are a part of Greek life or not, Dandelion Day is the best day on this campus to make forty new friends, or have a blast with all of your current ones. The concern is that the legend of this day is going to die, and believe me, if you talk to some Alumni they will have a story about D-Day.

More importantly, D-Day embodies the concept of an all-campus social, and that is precisely what it should be. The FPC wants to know what is missing. What is going to make you come out of your dorm, or suite, or apartment and come join us? Starting this Saturday, April 3rd there will be surveys available at the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity house. I do not care if you come in it at 4:00am demanding a survey. Wake someone up! Take D-Day back! D-Day is a privilege, and we have to treat it as such.

UR Softball continues dominance with sweeps of Alfred University and Ithaca College

The Yellowjackets swept Alfred University on the road Thursday, winning both games by a score of 5–4.

Gaza solidarity encampment: Live updates

The Campus Times is live tracking the Gaza solidarity encampment on Wilson Quad and the administrative response to it. Read our updates here.

UR Womens’ Lacrosse trounces Nazareth 17-5

UR’s Womens’ Lacrosse team beat Nazareth University 17–5 on Tuesday at Fauver Stadium.