Why do guys sometimes have problems getting and keeping it up?
Dear Curious Georgina,
There are a number of reasons that men could, on occasion, have trouble getting and maintaining erections. Only some will be discussed here, but if the problem persists, then I would recommend doing medical research.
One of the reasons that this could happen is common to men of all ages – alcohol! In fact, even the use of tobacco or other drugs can cause complications with erections. You may not know it, but if your guy has had even a little too much to drink, your hopes of sexual escapades with him for that evening may be shot. One way to resolve this is giving him some time to sober up after drinking. Eating some food and drinking water for about an hour should help. But keep in mind, alcoholism and other addictions can cause prolonged erectile problems, so if he’s a heavy drinker or smoker, you may want to advise him to take it down a notch – for the sake of your sex life.
Some other reasons for this problem could be due to a combination of nerve or blood-vessel problems. The only thing I can say is keep things interesting. Doing the same motion over and over again will eventually cause a guy to lose some feeling in his penis and could give him trouble keeping his erection. The way to prevent this is to mix it up! Change positions, movements and rhythms.
The last reason that this happens is psychological. Sometimes a guy may be very nervous or is not very turned on! Don’t take this personally – he still may think that you are very hot – but something more needs to be done than just some kissing and touching. It seems that many men fail to become erect because they need to receive oral sex. In fact, many men cannot get totally excited for sex until they have received oral sex. So, although some women are repulsed by the idea, it could be essential.
This is the kind of problem that is difficult for women to solve for men. My best advice regarding erectile difficulties is to just ask him what he wants. After all, it’s very likely that he wants to get an erection just as badly as you want him to – so work together and let the magic begin.
Got a question about relationships, love or sex? E-mail Adrienne Monley for real answers to your real questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.