Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) — You’ve been going crazy lately making plans for your future. Good job at taking initiative and keep it up, there are good things in store for you.
Aries (March 21-April 19) — Spring break is here so find something fun to do and do it. Remember, there’s no better time than the present, just don’t go too crazy.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Bring home an iguana from your tropical spring break destination. In a few years it will be big and mean enough to take out any German shepherd.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) — Pick up the phone and call that old friend that you haven’t talked to in a while. Even though it’s been a long time, there’s nothing like some reminiscing to remind you why you were friends.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) — Even though you’re only going home for spring break, don’t worry, you’ll still have a good time. Break out your collection of cassettes and listen to those great hits you liked in middle school, it will make you laugh.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Stop spending so much time closed up in your room and hang out with your friends. The year will be over before you know it and you won’t get to see them as much anymore.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Learn how to cook something exotic, you’ll enjoy it and your friends will be impressed with your mad skills in the kitchen.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct . 22) — You will be attacked by a barrel of monkeys, oh wait, those are just your friends.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — Make sure you bring lots of film with you on spring break. The crazy pictures you’ll take of your friends will help you get your way later.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21) — Don’t let the term “spring break” con you into thinking it’s actually getting warm around here. So stop wearing shorts to class, people are getting cold just looking at you.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Go crazy. Ditch your conservative ways. Dye your hair, get that piercing you’ve always wanted and do away with that innocent image you’ve been trying to hold up. You’ll feel a lot of freedom in finally being yourself.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — You’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, you’re smart, you’re successful, now get over it before you add “friendless” to that list.
(If you actually believe this, you’ve been sniffing too much glue. This is not to be taken seriously.)