Dear Mr. Editor,
I recently travelled down to your fine university to visit a friend of mine whom I met at a camp in Ontario. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit and found the University of Rochester to be more than comfortable for a Canadian like myself.
I did not fit in entirely. I called forks, knives and spoons cutlery instead of silverware. I enjoyed a drink of pop not soda. I went to the washroom not the bathroom. Still I was accepted into your community with open arms.
I played football with some students. I tried to teach them the Canadian rules, three downs and so forth but saw little progress. I watched hockey on television and was left alone during this time.
I attended an improv event entitled ‘Cutney Improv’ and was left in fits of laughter most of the night. That is until Canada became the butt of the final joke the evening, one which received tremendous applause.
I wore a curling shirt. OK, I admit I set myself up with that one.
I sat in on a class with a professor from, you guessed it, Canada. I sat among you without any attention being drawn my way. The point is that a Canadian at U of R sticks out as much as a celebrity at an anti-war rally. Not that much!
In closing I feel it necessary to address the current Canadian-American relations. In the end we are allies linked by both a border and a set of guiding principles. As Jack Nicholson said in the ‘hit’ movie ‘Mars Attacks’ “why can’t we all just get along?”
The trip was a great experience. Thank you for your hospitality. From a friend.
Sincerely, Mark Masters