Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — If you’re like most people, you probably didn’t win anything at Casino Night last Friday. But don’t worry, your luck is turning around from here.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) — Admit it. You’ve been spending way too much time playing games on the PS2 you brought back after Winter Break. Put the controller down and pick up a book. Or just keep playing video games, they’re more fun anyway.
Aries (March 21-April 19) — Valentine’s Day is coming up. Stop sulking about your love life, or lack thereof, and take action. Your cute lab partner would make a great Valentine’s Day date.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You know those New Year’s resolutions you made? I’d suggest trying to get back on track to follow through with them. You’ll be happy you did.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) — If you’re going to eat candy during your giant lecture class, do everyone a favor and stop buying individually wrapped pieces of candy. No one wants to hear you open every single cellophane wrapped piece.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) — So this new semester has you a little burned out already. Buy a plane ticket to a sunny Spring Break destination. The thought of catching some rays on the beach will turn your mood around.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Apologize to the girl down the hall for being so rowdy and mean. If you don’t she might follow through with her plan to put superglue in your door lock.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Try taking a yoga class or two. I bet you’ll like it.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) — Bring the 72 Bus driver a present this week. Everyone likes presents, and you like to give them. It’s perfect.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — Give your sister or brother a call this week. They like you even if they didn’t admit it when you were younger.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) — Revive your most cherished childhood hobby. Whether it’s collecting baseball cards or playing Connect Four, it will make you happy.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Go snowshoeing this weekend. Don’t have snow shoes? Just strap some tennis rackets to your feet, they work and look about the same.
(If you believe this, then you probably also believe in the tooth fairy also, and that’s just crazy. This is not to be takenseriously.)