There is a saying that goes, “everybody needs somebody to lean on.” This statement implies that we all need someone that we can depend on, the go-to person in times of need. Someone who understands you, and is not out to get you or to take advantage of you. Someone who is really sincere to you, and is not trying to mock or befuddle them. Someone with whom they can enjoy the good times as well as weather the bad times, and to develop a strong bond that will stand the test of time.

The problem with most interpersonal relationships today ? particularly male-female relationships ? is the lack of respect that the parties have for one another. There is no real trust or camaraderie between the persons, leading to animosity and chaos.

There is genuine deceit and traitorous behavior, leading to horrific infighting and outright contempt. It is as if the two ? or more ? parties never got along in the first place.

Instead of working together and compromising for the good of all involved, the parties are trying to get over at the expense and detriment of the other party, or worst case scenario, trying to annihilate one or all of the parties.

With all this in mind, and the recognition of the need to belong, the questions lurk, “Who can be trusted?” “Who really is sincere?” “Who really is insincere?” “Who can I really turn to in times of need?” “Who really understands, or cares to understand?” “Do I really care?” “Does this person have any feelings for me?” “Me for them?” “In general?” ? these are just a few questions one can ask.

One of the ways to find answers to these questions is to try to be the best person that one can be. One of the ways is to treat people like one would want to be treated, and to be themselves. Since everybody has different tastes and styles, not everyone is going to be the most compatible with each other. However, basic human respect and courtesy toward your fellow man can go a long way in building trust and friendships and relationships.

Also, while honoring and respecting your fellow person, it is also exceedingly important to honor and respect yourself. It is impossible to respect others if one doesn’t respect and love themselves and their Creator.

At the same token, if you only love yourself, you will be stagnated and left in an island in the entire of yourself. Since no man is an island in the entire of oneself, it would not be good for developing human relationships.

This type of animosity breeds jealousy, envy, hatred for the other party, and oneself, and plain contempt for human life.

In conclusion, one of the best ways of founding and developing quality friendships is to try to be the best person possible, and to treat others the way one would want to be treated.

It is also up to the individual to make certain that their needs are met as well. After all, we’re only treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated, and no one can do to us anymore than we allow.

Jacksonis a university employee and can be reached at

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