Scott Jeffrey is a pothead ? and he wants to be your governor.

His campaign platform? “Empower youth,” “legalize marijuana” and “Choice in Education.”

So what does Scott Jeffrey want to do? He wants to give the “apathetic youth” of the nation a voice in politics by giving youth a chance to meet someone “with whom we identify and who campaign[s] on issues relavant [sic] to our lives.”

And of course we should all be fooled by his willingness to talk to us. I mean, gosh, a fellow pot smoker?

You’ve got to vote for him. If nothing else, this man must have been smoking pot when he wrote his campaign strategy.

We would never want to vote for a competent governor who spells “relevant” properly now would we?

But let us not dwell on the issue of empowering the youth. From his many campaign flyers, we can easily see that his only real platform is to legalize marijuana.

Of course he gives reasons why the legalization of marijuana is good. The reasoning all seem well founded, unless you’re remotely conscious and have an IQ higher than 35.

First he states, “Over 20 million Americans smoke pot. We don’t deserve to go to jail or lose our jobs.” True, 20 million Americans may smoke pot, but that does not make it legal. Even suggesting that a majority’s action is somehow equivalent to legality is preposterous, and Jeffrey is talking about less than 6% of the country.

Of course marijuana smokers should go to jail or lose their jobs. It’s the law. Just because so many people break the law doesn’t nullify the law.

Tens of thousands of murders happen a year, should we strike murder from the books as a crime?

Next, and most misleading, is his statement, “Marijuana is less harmful than either alcohol or tobacco, both to the user and society.”

I don’t know where he got that evidence, but Dr. Daniele Piomelli, professor of pharmacology at the University of California (USA Today) said, “There is no question that it is dangerous. Heavy smoking of marijuana has been shown exhaustively to be as dangerous as or more dangerous than smoking tobacco.”

Guess what Scott Jeffrey, you are wrong. The smoking of marijuana causes head, neck and lung cancer ? all horrible ways to die. So please, vote for this man if you would like to die.

Thirdly, he states “Marijuana is a stepping stone by being illegal. Legalize to break the link to hard drugs.” What the hell kind of mumbo jumbo political b.s. is that?

Marijuana leads to hard drugs so we should legalize it? What? Why? So people can get to hard drugs faster? That makes no sense Jeffrey. Wait wait, let me light up ? ah, it all makes sense now.

Lastly, and probably the best indication of his stupidity is his statement, “Marijuana smokers are our friends, family and co-worker”? our fellow New Yorkers!”


We should legalize things because people close to us like to commit those crimes? Back in the middle ages, when kings ruled the land, and “commoner” was just a euphemism for slave, kings did that. Anytime the king’s relatives committed crimes, he excused them. It’s how hatred of the royal family was born.

Unfortunately, we don’t live there any more. Five hundred years later, our laws have evolved so that all people, no matter their status, are punished equally for their crime. Sorry, pot smokers are people too.

So for any of you out there looking for a good laugh, go check out his website at But for those of you who are looking for a serious candidate? Sorry, no luck here.

But I’m sure if you would like to buy a cannabis plant, he could hook you up.

He is a freshman and can be reached at

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