After participating in tournaments throughout the year, the Students’ Association Appropriations Committee found itself ranked first in the nation among money-controlling bodies.

In order to keep the possibility for a first-place ranking, SAAC participated in additional tournaments throughout the year, which caused an added financial strain on the group.

SAAC went in front of itself, asking for additional funding, but the request was denied by a 8-7 vote.

On Tuesday night, the decision was appealed by SAAC, and the group gave itself $50 in additional funding.

“The fact of the matter is that we mismanaged our own funds,” senior and Student’s Association treasurer Malik Evans said. “We gave ourselves a strong reprimand, but we’re not going to let ourselves suffer.”

As a result of the shortage of funds, SAAC has had to make serious changes. “We’ve had to start taking bribes just to keep our head above water,” SAAC member and senior Ashley Conner said.

SAAC has been placed on summary disciplinary probation following the incident.

Other members of SAAC have felt the strain. “I’ve been whoring myself out for weeks now, but we’re still having problems,” Evans said.

With the additional funding, SAAC hopes to do well in the upcoming National Tournament this weekend in Hoboken, New Jersey.

“It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but we’re all out of gum,” Evans said.

Naming rights for buildings sold to highest bidder

In an economic climate of rising costs, President Thomas Jackson said Tuesday that UR will sell the naming rights to a number of on-campus buildings.

“It’s nothing new at UR,” Jackson said. “We already have PepsiCo Plaza, Bausch and Lomb Hall and Wilson Commons, or to use its full name, Wilson Sporting Goods Company Commons.”

A number of buildings will have new names effective Monday, April 1. Todd Union will become The FedEx Center. The Computer Studies Building will become Xerox Hall. Rush Rhees Library will become Rush Rhees Pennzoil Library.

“We kept Rush Rhees in the name, you know, for old times sake,” Jackson said.

In a related story, the Once Upon a Times announced it would use product placement in its articles starting with this week’s issue.

“Movies have been doing it for years,” OUAT business manager Linda Goodwin said as she took a sip of an ice-cold Budweiser. “It’s easy money.”

“This isn’t a good idea at all. We’re selling out to corporate America,” said Micheal Jorgenson, a junior at the Eastman Kodak School of Music.

“Before you know it, we’ll have advertisements on our diplomas. Is this the direction we want to go?” continued Jorgenson, who was wearing Authentic Cargo Pants which he bought at Old Navy for just $26.50.

Asked about the possibility of advertising on diplomas, Jackson said, “Why didn’t I think of that? That’s a great idea!”

“Advertising on diplomas will bring great amounts of money to the university,” senior vice president for administration and finance Ronald Paprocki said in a phone interview, which he conducted on his Sprint PCS wireless phone.

Sprint PCS built the largest all-digital, all-PCS nationwide network from the ground up, reaching more than 230 million people.

Reporting by many pixies.



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