Every time my girlfriend Princess Aurora and I have sex, she sleeps through it. Sometimes I feel like a necrophiliac. What can I do to get her more involved in our lovemaking? ? Prince Phillip

Have you tried kissing the girl!? There is this thing called foreplay. You might want to try it. Explore that uncharted territory above the waist rather than pounding on her lifeless body next time. I guarantee that she will come around in no time if you provide her with some tender loving care. ? Bashful

This witch stuck me up in this tower where I have nothing to do. The only contact I have with another person is this prince who talks to me through my window. He says he’s going to get me out, but I am still waiting. What can I do in the mean time? ? Rapunzel

If you have access to a bath, start there. Let the warm water and steam relax you. Explore your body with your soapy hands as you wash yourself. Take your time and focus on the different textures of your body.

Towel off slowly and massage everywhere from your face to your feet. Then use a scented moisturizer or body oil and let your fantasies run away with you. Imagine what the prince is going to do with you once he rescues you and takes you behind a tree in the enchanted forest.

Finish off by stroking and applying pressure to your breasts and vagina (specifically the clitoris). Pay attention to what feels amazing so you can guide the prince in the future. ? Bashful

I have this thing for midgets. I have seven friends whom I want to proposition into having group sex. How should I go about doing this?? Snow White

Start a casual conversation about sex at dinner one night. Disclose your sexual fantasies about sex with midgets. Listen to their fantasies, too. If they express fantasies that match yours, proposition them. Do it in an ambiguously joking manner in case they look at you crazy and don’t want to speak with you again. If they say yes, then let the session of bliss begin. ? Bashful

Got any burning questions? Keep them to yourself! Thats nasty.

UR protests aren’t a threat to Jews

Outside of a temple or family gathering, I feel safest as a Jew at UR, and this has not changed with the protests on campus.

Letter to the Editor: “Israel-Palestine from a Jewish staff member”

I am able to step back and disengage when I am not listening in good faith. I am also sorely aware that this ability is not afforded to Palestinians.

What antisemitism at UR looks like

I am troubled by a pattern of excluding Jewish voices from conversations about what language is harmful to Jews.