I went abroad last semester and dated an amazing guy. We were really in love but decided it would be best to break up at the end of the semester. Now, he has just written me saying he saved enough money for a plane ticket, and can he come visit me for his spring break.
The problem is that I have recently started dating another guy here at UR whom I also like a lot. I wish I could just have Guy 1 visit without Guy 2 finding out! What should I do? ? Torn
Before you pull a “Bridges of Madison County” with this guy, consider the logistics. It will be difficult to keep this prolonged rendezvous a secret from your current boyfriend.
You must determine if a week of possible love is worth losing someone whom you deeply care about and could be around much longer.
If you have made a monogamous commitment with Guy 2, then you need to respect your present relationship.
This does not mean that Guy 1 cannot visit you.
You will just have to make it clear to him that there are certain boundaries not to be crossed. Welcome Guy 1 to visit as a friend only. If you do not trust yourself to keep the encounter with Guy 1 platonic, you may want to deter him from coming. ? Joan
I have been getting frequent urinary tract infections. Am I having too much sex with my boyfriend? ?Burnin’ Down the House
There is no such thing as having too much sex unless other important aspects of your life are being neglected or impaired.
Before you stop having sex as a possible remedy for the frequent UTIs, there are a few things you can do to prevent them.
It is true that women are prone to developing urinary tract infections following sexual intercourse. The pure mechanics of sex facilitate introduction of bacteria into a woman’s bladder through the urethra.
Not being sufficiently lubricated during
intercourse can also contribute to the risk of developing a UTI. Consider using KY jelly (or any water-soluble lubricant) to prevent against inflammation.
Also, women are encouraged to urinate before and after intercourse to flush out the system.
Consuming an adequate amount of fluids is important to overall health as well as the prevention of UTIs. Cranberry juice, in particular, acidifies urine, which discourages the proliferation of harmful bacteria.
Also, after bowel movements, remember to wipe from front to back to avoid introduction of fecal matter and associated bacteria into the vagina and urethra.
Since your UTIs are frequent (assuming you have more than three a year), then you might want to look into “suppression therapy”. This requires taking a small dose of antibiotics on a regular basis for six to twelve months or longer. This you can discuss with your health care provider.
For more information, pick up a pamphlet about UTIs at University Health Services. ? Joan
If you have any love and relationship questions that are literally, ummm ? burning, they can be sent to the love goddess herself, Joan Knihnicki. She can be reached at email@example.com.