Dear Joan, I have been hooking up with this guy on and off for a long time. He is smart, funny and adorable, but also a real jerk. Additionally, he doesn’t really like me. He just sees me for fun, and I let him believe I feel the same about him. I have been dating other people during this time, but none of them make me feel the way the jerk does. I know it would never work between us, but I am really idiotic over this guy. What should I do? ? Likes jerk and can’t help it

Love does not always work both ways. You have to accept this and move on. I know you don’t want to do this, but it is the only way to transcend toolocity at this point. It is highly unlikely that he will miraculously have a change of heart.

Feelings and lust are complicated aspects of life. Many college students are in your position, most of them being girls. Heck, I have been there too.

Studies have shown that men are not as picky about their sexual partners as women, but when it comes to romantic relationships, the sexes are equally discriminating. The notion of being “friends with benefits” does not work long-term. A woman is lying when she says, “No don’t worry. I just want some ass, too.” An exception would be the one night stand, where alcohol has lowered inhibitions and hormones are overflowing. But that is a whole other animal.

This is what you need to do. First, make sure you are not over-idealizing your encounters with this guy. Sometimes this can happen when you are drifting into sexual fantasies about previous escapades while dozing off in the periodical room. Try to estimate your feelings about him in an objective manner when you are as hormone-sober as possible. You may realize you were overlooking some traits that repulse you. If not, this could be tough.

You need to give yourself some space and focus on other areas in your life. Definitely stop hooking up with the jerk, no matter how appealing it might seem at the time. Don’t suddenly stop talking to him, though. Make sure you explain the situation and let him know that the casual relationship makes you feel unappreciated. ? Joan

Where can I find easy chicks on this campus? ? Blue balls in Burton

Call x55942 for easy chicks. The password is “Can I please talk to Thomas?” ? Joan

If you have any love and relationship questions that are literally, ummm ? burning, they can be sent to the love goddess herself, Joan Knihnicki. She can be reached at

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