It seems simple enough. You meet someone. You have a good time chatting and he or she seems like someone you would like to get to know better. So, why is it so hard to actually do so?

I have been wondering that for the last month. Being a recent single, I am in no mood to be searching for another significant other. But the fact that I am not “looking” doesn’t mean I don’t want to go out, meet people and have a good time.

Since my breakup, I have definitely enjoyed my closefriends. We have decked out, partied and had our rendezvous. In fact, I had a fantastic conversation with a really nice guy at a bar, gave out my digits and had a follow-up phone conversation. It appeared we were each other’s type. But somehow, the buck stops there. There was no date. I was not looking for a random hookup nor was I looking for a soul mate. Despite having a good time chatting, I never had the guts to call him back and ask him to hang out. Apparently, neither did he.

In recent times, people are always talking about casual dating ? going out, meeting people and seeing what happens ? no expectations. Going on 22, what I am finding out so far is what baloney that really is. We are not as carefree and open-minded as we want to think we are. We still pre-judge each other on our age, our looks and our appearances, instead of focusing on trying to find someone that we click with and enjoy hanging out with.

Moreover, we are too scared of doing anything about our interests. We forget that going out on a “date” does not entail much more than hanging out and talking with another person, one-on-one. It may include dining, an event such as a movie or a sporting event and even a little bit of romance to conclude.

But none of those are necessities and they in no way measure how good of a time each of you are having. There often is no loser in the situation. If you have a bad time, at least you gave it a shot.

Somehow, as the term “dating” evolves, we forget the simple pleasure of getting to know someone better. We all want to live the life of Sarah Jessica Parker and the cast of “Sex in the City”, all the while forgetting that they are no more than television characters living out a writer’s dream.

I know I am not the only one feeling this frustration. Despite agreeing with me, my friends tell me that dating is a lot harder than what it appears to boil down to. If we all just give into accepting the norm, waiting for someone to sweep us off our feet, are we not just cheating ourselves of our youth?

Wu can be reached at

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