Hi! I’m Nix, the demon girl who lives by that super hot spot in the tunnels. Everyone thinks I’m the Devil, but they’re wrong — I’m just your everyday college demon girl who’s here to study every subject her heart desires. I write because being the only demon girl on campus is a little lonely, but I have a lot of fun experiences I want to share!
You don’t piss off the Big Boss downstairs. That was the message everyone in Hell received after he read my less-than-lukewarm review of Thanksgiving in Hell. Fortunately, I wasn’t the object of his wrath. Beezelbub was! And it was glorious, as his punishment was to pay entirely for a two-week trip to Arizona for me and my little sister, Eris.
Arizona in winter isn’t as hot as Hell, but it is a desert. A desert where, the day we arrived, it rained. And the next day. And after that. And then — you get the point.
The best part came when I got to see my best friend in the whole Underworld, Mathias, at the Phoenix Zoo. He is probably the nicest demon you could ever meet. He also rarely consumes souls, but the two of us certainly enjoyed a few patrons who decided a zoo was a great place to litter or throw commemorative souvenirs and knick-knacks at animals.
Phoenix was only the first part of the trip — it was only right to head to Tucson, since they do a big taco drop for New Year’s.
We got there a few days early and did what any demon would do on vacation: we visited a mission. No one really noticed two demons running amok (they were too busy oohing and aahing at every friggin’ fresco).
We spent New Year’s Eve by the border at Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge. A quick jaunt over the border was absolutely delightful — shoutout to the three Customs and Border Protection agents whose souls we ate. Sometimes you just need a little junk food.
Then, on to this small town Arivaca. Throughout the afternoon, we saw a storm developing. We figured it would be fun to drive through the storm (humans, don’t try this), so we drove back through Arivaca and quickly realized that it’s not fun or safe to try driving through two inches of hail. We had to turn around, but to celebrate living through something both terrifying and beautiful, we went to Arivaca’s general store to get ice cream. When we told the owner about the hail, she became quite excited, since apparently, “These things don’t often happen around here. That’s the most exciting thing to happen in Arivaca since little Timmy tripped over a rattlesnake in August!”
The taco drop was the greatest thing we’d ever seen. It did not disappoint, crushing at least three people, a New Year’s feast of souls for Eris and me. Delicious!
After recovering, we headed north to Sedona. Everyone thinks the red rocks in Sedona were formed by iron in the soil. They’re wrong! It’s actually rock art from the Big Boss. (No one wants to tell him that it’s not very good, or that putting it “on display” in the high steppe above the retiree capital of Arizona is the geographic equivalent of putting a child’s macaroni art on the fridge.)
Now, all good things must come to an end, and at the end of our trip, we needed to get back somehow. While we’d normally take a flight back, apparently Beezelbub’s credit card maxed out, so we had to travel on a budget. So, using the last $10 of credit on the card, Eris, Mathias, and I all went for a hike in the Superstition Mountains. Plenty of myths and legends, including those of an entrance to Hell and the Lost Dutchman, surround the place. While I can neither confirm nor deny many of them, I can safely say that there is in fact an entrance to Hell in the Superstitions. Yes, it is near the gift shop.