car crash
United Way
When asked about how they got their license, the culprit reported that they aced their driving test, which opened up yet another investigation into the local DMV and their standards. Read More
University Counseling Center (UCC)
United Way
The University will grant full legal, medical, and disciplinary amnesty from any wrongdoing they could commit on the sole condition that they write an essay afterward. Read More
Football
United Way
Teams that finish at the bottom of the standings usually end up with a top-five pick the following spring. But does drafting a quarterback actually solve the problems that made these teams so bad in the first place? Read More