“Stay slaying, sexies”

Having any fun? You want to? I may be busy ruling over the school with a limp wrist and iron fist, but I’ll always have time for you.

Dozens pharbified in Eastman Quad terror attack, WRUR suspected culprit

All that could be heard was the sound of Phoebe Bridgers’s “Funeral,” distorted by the wind and the just-audible sobs of pharbified students crying in the bushes.

Why your New Year’s resolutions should be indulgently impossible

It was two days after New Year’s, but I sat down and made The List anyway just because Why Not.