Daniel Ciszek: I give you credit for bravely living in the notorious 19th Ward, Kishore, but what is there to do over there besides thug?

Kishore Padmaraju: What is thug? Is that what rich people assume poor people do?

DC: No, rich people assume poor people will get a job.

KP: Whoa, whoa. What do you think this is? The 18th Ward?

DC: All I’m saying is that people in the 19th Ward should do something productive, you know, in between shooting people.

KP: Hey, shooting-free since Feb. 16 isn’t bad!

DC: By the time this gets out, you know that won’t be true.

KP: We live week-to-week in the Ward, you know that.

DC: In fear.

KP: Fear is just a word when your homeboy Tyrone’s got your back.

DC: You don’t know a Tyrone…

KP: True! But I could!

DC: Only if you owed him money.

KP: Money has no value in the 19th Ward. That’s the beauty of it. We live by our word and we die by our word. A man’s greatest possession is his honor.

DC: Really? That’s funny, because I just traded a Twix for a back massage the other day. Turns out homeless people don’t realize the value of dignity.

KP: You should see what they would do for a Klondike bar.

DC: Dear Lord, this conversation has gone off track. Besides the low rent, can you really give me any other reason to live in the 19th Ward?

KP: How about the culture, Danny? We are the Harlem of Rochester.

DC: I didn’t realize stabbing was an art form. We have gelato on Park Avenue.

KP: Wait, sir, we just got a Boulder Coffee. I think we just surpassed you in pretentiousness.

DC: Yeah, there’s nothing more pretentious than Boulder Coffee.

KP: You can talk down to me with your smug grin and full- body tan; I’ll take my low-income housing any day.

DC: Well, at least it’s not the South Wedge.

KP: So true…

Ciszek is a member of the class of 2009.
Padmaraju is a member of the class of 2009.



Available now, for a limited time: Pig Syrup

The fact that this market hasn’t been tapped yet astounds me. There are so many reasons to transform into a pig!

Dam Funny: A Review of “Hundreds of Beavers” – North America’s Largest Rodent Takes Center Stage

Our protagonist awakes in shoulder-deep snow. He is alone, without any worldly possessions. His applejack business is as good as gone.

🔴 Gaza solidarity encampment: Live updates

The Campus Times is live tracking the Gaza solidarity encampment on Wilson Quad and the administrative response to it. Read our updates here.