This is awkward: I have a full back tattoo of Kanye and Jay-Z passionately embracing

Last week, I was at the public pool, about to swim a few laps, but I couldn’t even make it through one without being relentlessly mocked for my tattoo.

I do, I don’t, I really don’t: The Marriage Pact story

Once again, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that this school is goddamn tiny, and do you really want to marry anyone you took Calculus with?

A timely appeal to the youth: Mangelsdorf covers Taylor Swift’s ‘You Need to Calm Down’

So I figure, good ol’ Tay Tay Swizzy is the bridge to make my anti-union stances clear—maybe these damn kids will finally shut the hell up.”