If you’ve been paying attention to pop culture over the past couple weeks, you may have heard of the Ariana Grande/Ethan Slater controversy. Ariana Grande and her former husband separated in January, and she is now reportedly with “Wicked” co-star Ethan Slater — who has also recently separated from his wife, Lilly Jay.
Slater and Jay were separated for two months before his relationship with Grande started, but Jay says she was completely blindsided by their breakup. As a result of how public the issue has been, many people have been debating the controversy and how to treat “the other woman.”
In relationships, women often face unfair judgments and derogatory labels like “hoes” or “sluts” if they’re not loyal. But how does society approach the other woman? How should the woman being cheated on view the other woman? Figuring out who is culpable for a cheating scandal all depends on the situation. If a man is cheating and the other woman knows that he has a girlfriend, then both of them should be accountable for their actions.
On the other hand, if the woman is unaware of the man’s girlfriend, then the blame lies solely on the man. To come back to the question I posed earlier, I think people view the other woman as someone who has done something terribly wrong, but in reality it is just another woman that has feelings and emotions like any other woman. I don’t think the other woman should be looked down upon because of how she feels about someone.
Being the other woman can be stressful and worrisome. Furthermore, it can result in you questioning whether or not it was a good idea to get in the relationship in the first place. On top of feeling these emotions you can also feel guilt and shame. Feeling like this can take a toll on your relationship. Even though these feelings are valid, especially if you’ve done something unethical to end up in your relationship —–- but it doesn’t change how difficult it can be to move on. That might be valid — especially if you ha’ve done something unethical to end up in your relationship — but it doesn’t change how difficult it can be to move on.
Sometimes, relationships end messily — whether the issue is due to cheating or not — and in a case like this, where both parties had ended relationships and immediately jumped into a new, incredibly public one, it can seem like everyone is allowed to have an opinion about it. Should Jay be allowed to blame Grande for the end of her relationship? Is love, no matter how messy, worth hurting others for?
Everyone deals with their emotions differently. In this case, I think Jay putting the blame on Grande won’t help anything. I do think she has every right to be upset and disappointed in the situation. Love can be messy at times, but I do think it’s important to think about other people’s feelings.

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