This is awkward: I have a full back tattoo of Kanye and Jay-Z passionately embracing

Last week, I was at the public pool, about to swim a few laps, but I couldn’t even make it through one without being relentlessly mocked for my tattoo.

Dr. Olidamra’s commitment to benefiting armadillo research

“Yeah, he’s a bit... weird about his armadillos,” Deckham added, awkwardly shuffling his feet. “Like, he talks to them. A lot.”

My crusade against the UR parking office

I allowed my predator to believe I was prey — let them roam the jungle, beat their chest, and act like they could never be defeated.