Media Matrix: Is your life over yet?

This is so weird. I don’t even know what I’m watching, but I think my IQ just dropped 20 points. I will definitely not be able to sleep tonight. This shouldn’t even be a thing. I am not okay with this. Is this even legal? Well, I’m scarred for life. How is this even a thing? Either he’s a robot, or a guy with no life. Is this real life?

I can never unsee this. Welp, my childhood is ruined. What is the point of this, and who on God’s earth could ever think of this? What am I even watching? It’s either a baby with a tumor or Newman from Seinfeld on LSD. This is not for Kids. Yeah, that’s a good idea, get kids to watch this. This is just not right.

In 2005 I wore Nike Shox and I was only dimly aware of them. I. Just. Win. Nike. Smuckers Uncrustables are pretty good. Do we get video game time? When is lunch? Tanner, that’s so gay. Let’s race. Last one is gay!

I wear purple shirts with red gym shorts. The color scheme is not a part of my consciousness.

I ran a mile in 6 minutes. I’m one of the best in the state. I’m also in advanced math. Is your life over yet?

Bionicles are not even that good. Why would you get the white Heelys? That’s gay. Is your life over yet?

I achieved a level 36 in RuneScape in two days. Rune armor is not even that good. Is your life over yet?

I beat math blaster in an hour. It was so stupid. Are you insecure yet?

I have an IQ of 130.

This video gave me the creeps.

I am in a top-ranking liberal arts college.

This video gave me the creeps.

I achieved above average scores in math, reading comprehension, and writing on the SATs. Is your life over yet?

This video gave me the creeps.

Honestly, getting a job at Microsoft was pretty easy. I just didn’t sleep.

This video gave me the creeps.

Greek yogurt is sufficient for me.

This video gave me —

Visit “Hey Kids Nursery” on YouTube.