Multiple orgasms? That’s not even real: the female orgasm isn’t even a real thing, just a myth!
Just kidding, that’s not true at all.
Of course, having multiple orgasms is a pretty rare phenomenon, experienced more often by women than by men. It’s a common misconception that only women can have multiple orgasms, even though it’s accurate that women are much more likely to.
But men, don’t go off thinking we with lady parts are off living the orgasmic dream—one in three of us has trouble orgasming altogether. And also, don’t feel left out, because men can have multiple orgasms too!
Multiple orgasms can seem like a phenomenon that you may or may not be lucky enough to experience, but, in fact, it can be a skill. This is the point where all of your ears should perk up and all your eyes widen.
Yes, you can learn how to have multiple orgasms; male or female, it’s possible. Of course, I imagine it’s a lot like learning optics—I’m sure it’s possible, but come on, can a mere mortal do it? It’s worth a shot. Like learning the science of optics, learning to have multiple orgasms will require a solid foundation of understanding.
A normal, single orgasm has a certain pattern: first steeply increasing arousal, then a plateau, followed by orgasm, ending with a retreat towards resting arousal levels. In the case of multiple orgasms, that retreat is interrupted by continued stimulation.
Arousal stays at its plateau level, and orgasm can be reached again, and again, and again…
So, how do you avoid that post-orgasm drop off? What about the refractory period?
For this part, it’s crucial to recognize the difference between orgasm and ejaculation. Orgasm describes the height of sexual pleasure, marked by rhythmic muscular spasms. Orgasms are most often accompanied by ejaculation, but they can happen independently.
Ejaculation is the actual process of expelling a fluid. For men it’s semen, for women it’s something else science hasn’t settled on a name for yet.
To be clear, I’m not necessarily referring to squirting when I refer to female ejaculation. Women can ejaculate without squirting, and when they do, it’s not much. The trick to multiple orgasms, for most people, is to orgasm without ejaculation. You can imagine how this bypasses the refractory period issue.
In order to orgasm again, the body doesn’t have to prepare more fluid, it only has to get ready for another spasm, seriously cutting down the refractory period.
So how can you separate your orgasm from ejaculation? The answer is kegels. Sex/life hint: the answer is always kegels.
Practicing kegels regularly will strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and help you control them better.
Then, if you want to have multiple orgasms, when your first orgasm rolls around, squeeze those pelvic floor muscles like the dickens.
With practice, this can allow you to prevent yourself from ejaculating while you orgasm. That way you can ride the orgasm and then just keep going.
Of course, multiple orgasms are rare. Maybe they would be more common if more people knew how to try for them, but who knows. It’s an art, not a science, so treat it as such. It’s all about the journey!
Armstrong is a member of the class of 2016.
