As a bisexual female, some of my most memorable and gratifying sexual experiences have come from threesomes. Not only do they have the potential to engage all of your senses and ensure that your body is completely attended to, they also offer a unique element of beauty that comes from being able to watch your other two partners enjoy and explore one another.
The first few threesomes that I had were extremely overwhelming. Sometimes they still are. However, when you and your partners finally get the hang of harmonizing all three of your bodies in the perfect rhythm, the experience can be simply breathtaking.
Whether you’re considering giving a three-way a try, wondering how to have a better threesome or are even just curious about how they work, there are a few things you should always keep in mind. Here’s a list of a few DOs and DON’Ts to consider:
DO choose wisely. Finding the right partner to have a one-on-one sexual experience with can be difficult as it is, so adding a third might sound like a complete nightmare.
In order to increase your comfort level, I’d recommend having at least one of the partners be someone with whom you feel completely sexually free and have prior sexual experience.
Having at least one familiar partner will also make it that much easier to synchronize each person’s sexual preferences, tastes and comfort levels, which can prove challenging at times.
DON’T drink and ride. While I’d advise against drinking excessively before engaging in any sexual activity, it’s best to enter a threesome with a clear and level head.
Chances are, if you can’t even entertain the idea of a threesome without a few drinks in your system, it’s probably not for you.
Not only will you be able to more accurately gauge whether or not threesomes are your thing, you’ll also be more likely to stop if they aren’t. One cocktail too many can get you thrown up on, put you right in the middle of a married couple smack-down or distort your judgment so much that you go down on a girl without even realizing she’s on her period. Yes, I had to learn the hard way.
DO consider the consequences. Before hopping in bed with a couple or bringing another into your significant other’s bed, really reflect on the impact this could potentially have on a committed relationship. The absolute worst time to decide that you don’t enjoy watching your partner have sex with another person is while he or she is having sex with another person.
Likewise, getting involved in another couple’s relationship has the tendency to become complicated — love triangles are not sexy.
DON’T forget anyone. I’m sure the most common fear when considering threesomes is the fear of being left out. Though some might solely enjoy the voyeuristic nature of the threesome, it’s likely that all three members desire and deserve equal attention.
There are so many fun and unique positions to keep everyone involved at all times. My personal favorite is doggie style with him while I’m going down on her. Who said 69 is the only way to simultaneously get and give pleasure?
DO keep an open mind. Watching two people have sex right in front of you for the very first time can feel incredibly awkward and foreign. Quite honestly, not enough porn could have prepared me for the mixed emotions I experienced the first time I witnessed this. However, keeping an open mind is the best way to avoid jealousy or insecurity.
Watching someone else please and be pleased is an incredibly erotic treat and, if you’re able to see the beauty in this dynamic, you’re certain to enjoy.
DON’T be afraid! Threesomes are definitely not for everyone, but if the only thing holding you back is fear then I’d highly recommend exploring the art of doubling up. The final result of the threesome does not even have to be sex — you could always experiment with some light foreplay or maybe share an incredible three-way kiss. Relax and enjoy the ride!
Howcroft is a member of the class of 2014.