Pandemonium broke out after junior transfer student and Halloween enthusiast Claryssa Sherbert arrived to the Fraternity Quadrangle late last Saturday night. “I had never seen anything like it before,” senior Delta Upsilon brother Matt Meens exclaimed. “It was horrifying, I can barely even talk about it now … She

just … I … I can’t … Please don’t make me think about it.”

The scene that left Meens in such shock was the appearance of Sherbert in her Halloween costume.
“I thought it would look authentic,” Sherbert stated in an interview the next day. “Plus, it’s Halloween, your costume should be scary.” The costume that Sherbert selected that particular evening was that of the horrifying possessed girl from “The Exorcist.”

“I tried to tell her it might be a little much for the Quad but she just snapped at me, ‘At least I’m wearing a real costume and not just nipple tape and bunny ears,’” Sherbert’s roommate Frannie Belt said. “I was the Easter Bunny, by the way.”

Sherbert reported that after the final hour of applying makeup, she exited her dorm and confidently approached the mass of students on the Quad.

“At first, I thought people were admiring my detailed makeup job, but then I noticed their reactions growing sour,” Sherbert recalled. “I only saw one other scary movie character, the girl from “The Ring,” you know, with the long black hair. Actually, now that I think of it, it was just her hair, she definitely wasn’t wearing a shirt,” Sherbert said.

The arrival of such a frightening costume in contrast to the mini skirts and push-up bras took the students by surprise.

“So everyone is hanging out on the Quad, you know, showing off their costumes,” varsity baseball pitcher Tony Westie said. I was dressed as a lumberjack in overalls, boots and a hat, no shirt. I had to show off the guns, you know, it’s Halloween. Anyway, so I see this thing walking toward me and I freeze. I look closer and it was the goddamn scary “exorcist” chick. It freakin’ scared the shit out of me. I mean, why would you do that! At least wear a tube top and fishnets and make it sexy.”

Westie wasn’t the only person Saturday night to react negatively to the sight of Sherbert. Campus Security officer Lenny McDaniels reported, “Yeah, I got a call from an anonymous girl on the Quad who reported, and I quote, ‘The scariest fucking thing ever is, like, attacking everyone and shit! You need to come quick and kill it!’ So my partner Gary and I drove down there as soon as we could.”

Security officer and McDaniels’ partner Gary Flenderson recalled the final events.

“We roll up, walkie talkies locked and loaded, and we see all these students on the ground,” he said.

“Everyone was yellin’ and rubbin’ their eyes and stuff. So we look around, and we see these huge friggin’ bouncer guys just macing everyone, for no reason! Haha, it was crazy! All I’m sayin’ is that we gotta get some mace … and guns.”

Due to the mayhem last Saturday night, UR President Joel Seligman has officially banned Halloween from the UR campus for all eternity.

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