For the most part, Security Update is serious business. However, some of the most memorable entries have been the poorly executed thefts, fire-related incidents and other random bad ideas had by various members of the UR community.
In that vein, we’ve compiled some of the Security Update standouts from the 2009-10 school year, arranged in order of increasing ridiculousness.

Most pointless
break-in of the year

An alarm went off in the River Campus Bookstore on the night of Wednesday, October 14, 2009, signaling an unauthorized intrusion. According to Security Investigator Daniel Lafferty, Security officers responded to the alarm and found one of the windows facing Goergen Athletic Center to be ajar.

Upon searching the scene, officers found no evidence of theft or damage to any Bookstore property. Bookstore staff later found that several textbooks were moved from one area of the store and hidden behind a couch near the open window. The staff verified that the inept criminals didn’t steal or damage anything during the break in.

A witness reported seeing three people fleeing the scene, but it was not clear if any of these individuals were involved with the break-in.

Individuals caught
playing with fire

A Security officer patrolling the Riverview Apartments area on Sunday, Feb. 7 spotted two individuals juggling flaming torches between Buildings A and C.

According to Lafferty, the individuals extinguished the flames as the officer approached. Questioning the individuals, the officer was able to determine that one was a UR student, while the other was a faculty member at a local college. The student claimed to be practicing for his juggling club, although fire is generally not incorporated in juggling routines at UR.

Both individuals were warned against such activity in the future and willingly departed without incident.

Graffiti in the snow

In an innovative new way to deface personal property, a group of unidentified UR students wrote and drew inappropriate comments and pictures in the snow on four cars on Wednesday, Jan. 13.

The snow graffiti was wiped harmlessly away. No damage was sustained to any of the vehicles involved.

According to Lafferty, no police report was filed and no suspects were identified.

The Great Halloween Party Pumpkin Theft

UR Security officers observed two individuals unloading pumpkins into the Psi Upsilon Fraternity house on Friday, Oct. 30, 2009, but this was only the beginning of Security’s discovery.

Upon questioning the individuals, officers discovered that the suspects were brothers of the fraternity. The suspects claimed that they received the 15 to 20 pumpkins from relatives, but when they were unable to identify these relatives they admitted that they had stolen the pumpkins from various residences in Henrietta.

Officers decided to search the fraternity further, and they found a locked room in the basement containing over 200 pumpkins and 16 other Halloween decorations which other fraternity brothers had stolen from local homes. The students claimed that the items were to be used for the fraternity’s Halloween party the following night.

Monroe County and Rochester police officers arrived to collect the items for safekeeping and possible evidence. The incident also lead to an investigation of the fraternity.

Under-clothed creeper
spotted on River Campus

On Friday, Feb. 5, Security received a call from a female student walking on the sidewalk between Meliora and Harkness halls about a suspicious individual in the vicinity. And by suspicious, we actually mean that he was wearing nothing but a sweatshirt, a pair of winter boots and a winter hat.

The student walked toward the more densely-populated bus stop on Library Road in order to escape the pantsless perpetrator. As the student quickened her pace, however, so did the suspect. According to the student, the suspect evidently noticed that he had been spotted, as he removed his sweatshirt and attempted to hide behind a tree.
The student then witnessed the suspect walking hastily in the opposite direction with his sweater back on. No police report was filed, and Security was never able to identify the suspect.

Bike thief’s escape
plan is a dud

Bike thefts have been no stranger to UR this year, though they normally end in a fairly docile manner. One that occurred on Saturday, Sept. 26, however, went a step further.
Kazi King, a 32-year-old Rochester resident, stole a bicycle near the University Health Service building and then attempted a getaway toward the pedestrian footbridge. A Security officer intercepted King, and in a desperate attempt at escape, King threw the bike at the officer and fled on foot.

In perhaps the feeblest move imaginable, King then dove into the Genesse River and attempted to swim away from the Security officer.

In the time it took him to swim to the other side however, University Security, Rochester Police units and the Rochester Fire Department were able to gather and wait for him to come ashore.

King was sent via ambulance to Strong Memorial Hospital for evaluation. According to Lafferty, he was arrested on harassment charges for throwing the bike at the officer. The bicycle was recovered by Security and returned to its owner.

Fleming is a member of
the class of 2013.

Information provided
by UR Security.

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