by Alyssa Waddill
Senior Staff Writer
Everyone’s wanted to be someone else at some point. You know that fantasy where suddenly you’re David Bowie or Hannah Montana, standing on stage in front of millions of screaming fans? Maybe your dreams run more toward the financial: you imagine yourself as a CEO, stealing tons of money from your employees and living on top of the world. You could even just imagine yourself as a much cooler, better-appreciated version of you. I know I’ve had awkward moments where if only I was just a little smoother, a little sexier, my life would have been better.
Well, in the bedroom, you can be whoever you want to be. Assuming, of course, that you have a willing and hopefully adventurous partner, you can take on any role that you want.
That’s the beauty of fantasy, especially when it’s sexual. It doesn’t have to be real to be fun. Sex, if you want it and choose it, can make you feel great about yourself anyway. Why not go whole hog and embrace that dream life you’ve always wanted?
If it’s CEO fantasies that keep you warm at night, why not find a power suit at Goodwill and a ‘secretary” to service you under your desk. You could ask him to wear sexy secretary glasses or ask that she take notes on the details of your blow job meeting.
There are so many possibilities for dirty role playing that it can be overwhelming. Walk into a well-stocked sex shop and you’ll find outfits that cater to just about anything.
There are the usual naughty schoolchildren, the stern teachers, the saucy delivery workers and the sexy police officers. You can also dress yourself as a baby, a gangster, a frat boy or a politician. You know you’ve wanted to work through that Sarah Palin and Barack Obama dream you keep having. Have you heard that song about saving a horse and riding a cowboy? Stick a saddle on his back and a bridle in his mouth and you can do both at once! The possibilities are endless.
Of course, if you want to do any kind of role playing, you’re going to have to discuss the idea with your bed friend. This is probably easiest to do with someone you’ve already been sleeping with and hopefully talking to for a while. You never know how someone’s going to react to that secret role-playing fantasy that you’ve been harboring for years. And when bringing up anything considered ‘unusual” or ‘kinky,” give your partner time to get used to the idea. First reactions aren’t always the most accurate. Bring it up outside the sack, and let him or her in on the preparations if you decide to go through with it.
Spending time getting ready for the sex you’re about to have is its own kind of foreplay, whether it’s shopping for outfits and accessories or just planning exactly what you want to do. Talking about sex can be almost as sexy as actually having it.
If you’re doing any kind of role playing that involves submission or pushing either partner’s boundaries, make sure you’ve got a way to communicate about how it’s going while you’re in the act. You may not want to break character, but you need to make sure everyone’s OK. This is especially important the first time you try any kind of role-playing scene.
If your role involves a character who would say ‘no” without meaning it, set an easy-to-remember safe word that either partner can say to stop the action at once. That way, there can be no confusion about consent.
Once you’ve got the partner and the consent, have a blast. The whole world is open for your sexual exploration. You just need a little imagination and a few good props.
Waddill is a member of the class of 2009.