The swoop. It’s that moment when you’re sitting there with someone new, someone exciting, close together and waiting. If anything’s going to happen, one of you has got to make that move.
One of you puts your face an inch or two closer and dips in for the kiss. It can be one of the most tantalizing, nerve-wracking moments in sexual life.
Sure, you might be an old hand, you might have a different boy or girl in your bed every night, but the swoop is still special.
Of course, there’s a lot involved in getting to and past the swoop. While some of us are more or less oblivious than others, figuring out a new sex partner is always both tricky and fun.
Whether you’re looking to get into a serious, lifetime relationship or just looking for a bed buddy for a night, there are some signs you can spot that will let you know your object of desire is interested, too. I know plenty of people who wouldn’t know someone was flirting with them if they were whacked in the head with a brick engraved with the words, ‘I want to sleep with you.” Learning to pick up the signals is the first step.
Touch is really important in the quest for sex, even in small ways. I’m sure you’ve all read in Cosmopolitan that little touches, especially unnecessary ones, can be a big sign of flirting. For once, the girly mag has got it right.
If you’re looking for some action, try a little handsiness. I’m not telling you to go for her tits or his ass. A little gentle and suggestive touch on the shoulder or standing too close so you bump together can be enough. I once played thumb wars as foreplay as a way to initiate physical contact. Even tickling can work, so long as it’s not too obnoxious. Anything that gets you touching your crush helps. Make sure you’ve got their consent and active participation and it’s all good.
Of course, that’s way too subtle for some. If you’re in a hurry to get to the hot beef injection, try finding excuses to be in a room alone together.
It can be really fun to sneak a peck on the cheek when your friend ducks into the bathroom. Inviting your potential lover over for a movie alone in your room gives ample time to make a move.
One thing I really like to do with someone I think I’m about to sleep with is spend the night in bed with them without doing anything. It’s a great way to prolong the sexual tension, and in our extra long twin beds, you’re guaranteed to have to touch each other a lot. Spooning is a requirement.
In the morning, after you’ve had some time to get used to the feel of each other’s bodies and maybe even talk a little, you can get down to business.
Just in case you ever consider getting with someone when you’ve been drinking, this is a great option. If either of you are drunk, waiting until the morning not only gives you some relaxed body-contact time, but it also ensures that your bodies will actually work when you go for it.
Alcohol tends to slow things down and it can be hard to get them back up, if you catch my drift. It can even inhibit physical pleasure.
Waiting until the morning gives you a little more time to be sure of your decisions.
Of course, in the end, someone has to make the swoop.
Girls, if you’re into guys, don’t assume he’s going to do it. It can be really sexy when a woman takes the initiative.
Taking that leap and closing the distance between your faces can make a person tense, but what fun would there be without tension?
I say go for it, and have a good time.
Waddill is a member of the class of 2009.