Aloha everyone, and welcome back from your winter break. Thank you for choosing to read Life, Love… Sport (New York City Edition), I hope you will enjoy it. There is a lot of excitement here at the LLS for the new year, especially since the biggest spectacle in sports is nearly upon us. Since college football is now officially finished, we shall take stock of a wild and crazy season and delve a little bit into the college basketball season, which, to be honest, the LLS has regarded until now as a bunch of crazy morons running around indoors. Also, because the NBA is in full swing, perhaps we shall talk about the lack of exciting storylines and maybe discuss a little bit of curling? Who knows? I do.
Now that college football is over, it’s time to recap. For the second straight year, the LLS Bandwagon Team has lost in its bowl game after a semi-disappointing season. This seems to be a rather disturbing trend until you realize that next season the Bandwagon Team of the LLS has always done well. Also, before we move on, let’s all agree to ban Ohio State from any national title games for a decade. Sure, one bad showing is acceptable (after all, everyone makes mistakes – isn’t that right Senator Craig?), but twice in a row? Unacceptable. Also, it makes for awful TV.
Moving on to some college basketball, it has come to my attention that apparently this sport is now in season. Here’s my one problem with the lame college version of basketball: where are the points? What happened? When I watch the NBA and see 200 points a game, I expect the same level of performance from the college kids. No more of this 56-47 bullcrap. Some of the college players have the nerve to think that they can jump to the NBA. If you are scoring 10 points a game, don’t even bother moving up – Kevin Garnett will beat you up and take your lunch money. That man is a beast. I’m wasting a solid two hours watching college hoops; I deserve to be treated to a good game. And another thing, when did major college programs get the nerve to schedule East-West Buttcrack U.? Moving on.
In the world of baseball, normally quiet this time of year, the spotlight belongs to Roger Clemens. Or rather it belongs to that giant needle that was sticking out of his ass. Now, we all perhaps wondered why Clemens had a sub-2.00 ERA at the age of 40-something when he pitched for the Astros. Heck, even I was convinced that working out in the gym for eight hours a day will give you a 95 mph fastball.
But as shown by my brief (and unsuccessful) tryout with the UR baseball team, you need more than working out to be good. Apparently, in Clemens’ case it meant a little somethin’ somethin’ extra from, say, HGH. I’m glad someone like him got busted; maybe now steroids won’t be the only thing that people will be talking about all of next season.
I was going to write a long and glowing report on the Celtics and how they were just destroying everyone they played, but they ruined it by losing twice to the Wizards and some other teams. So now, I’m just going to cautiously declare that the team from Boston is the deepest team that I’ve ever seen play. This should also be prefaced with the fact that I haven’t really watched much basketball because I find that a lot of the teams are just really one superstar and a bunch of dudes that should probably be playing at the local YMCA and not in the NBA. But watching Kevin Garnett is awesome.
Quick story: When I first started to notice sports in 1995, I had already picked my football team (the Panthers, because everyone loves the underdog and because while watching Kerry Collins, I turned to my younger cousin and told him that Collins is an alcoholic. It feels good to be right), my hockey team (the Red Wings because Federov made beautiful music on the ice. If you disagree, I’ll punch you) and my baseball team (the Red Sox because I moved to Boston and to be honest, if I picked anyone else, I’d probably be dead by now).
So I was looking for a basketball team. And frankly, the T-Wolves had a cool name and awesome jerseys. Getting Garnett was like getting a gift that keeps on giving (and no, I did not just compare Kevin Garnett to a gift card).
If you are wondering why I haven’t talked about the Patriots, there are two reasons. First, I’m going to do an in-depth breakdown of the game next week, and second, I’m afraid to jinx the team.
Final Fact:
A baseball ball has exactly 108 stitches, a cricket ball has between 65 and 70 stitches.
Maystrovsky’s article appears weekly. Maystrovsky is a
member of the class of 2009.
