I would like nothing more than to pack my bags, catch a cab to the airport and fly to a golden beach near the equator for a week of sun and five gallon margaritas. However, I’m broke. So, as I once again prepare for my return to Hartford, Conn. – average temperature this time of the year – 28 degrees – I’ve drawn up my poor man’s spring break road trip/scavenger hunt itinerary. Those who want to play along will need a car, gas money, an ample supply of Drake’s Cakes, coffee, Slim Jims and a navigator/co-pilot/CD player. The rules are simple – earn the most points by completing the following tasks and you win a halfway-decent spring break.*10 points – Every night you sleep in the car. Five bonus points if it’s a compact car.*20 points – For every bottle peed in, la “Dumb and Dumber.” Infinite bonus points if a cop drinks it.*5 points – For every rainstorm driven through.*10 points – For every snowstorm.*20 points – Have a picnic at a beach on Cape Cod/Long Island Sound/Lake Ontario. 10 bonus points if you go swimming. 15 bonus points if you skinny dip.*40 points – Drive across a frozen lake. Minus 75 points if your car falls through the ice.*15 points – Stage a two-person re-enactment of the Revolutionary War at Saratoga.*30 points – Eat a meal at every rest stop on I-90 between Ohio and Massachusetts.*10 points – Pull your co-pilot on a sled through a parking lot.*15 points – Pull him on a public road.*50 points – Pull him to the rest stops on I-90.*15 points – Ride as many complete city bus routes as you can in one day.*30 points – Build a snow plow out of plywood and duct tape, attach it to your car and drive all the snow-shoveling middle schoolers out of business.*20 points – Go into a car dealership and try to trade your car for the most expensive model straight up. 15 bonus points if you car is from the 1980s.*25 points – Visit all five New England state capitals in a day. 20 bonus points for trying to trade your car for Montpelier, straight up. 15 bonus points if the deal goes through.*And finally, 200 points – For just sticking it out on campus.

The NBA’s MVP candidates

Against the Cleveland Cavaliers, center Nikola Jokić posted 26 points, 18 rebounds, and 16 assists in 35 minutes. That same…

UR Softball continues dominance with sweeps of Alfred University and Ithaca College

The Yellowjackets swept Alfred University on the road Thursday, winning both games by a score of 5–4.

An open letter to all members of any university community

I strongly oppose the proposed divestment resolution. This resolution is nothing more than another ugly manifestation of antisemitism at the University.