When a one night stand turns into a lifetime of regrets

One night, while at my favorite hangout spot, I came across a fellow UR student, who was also hanging out with a friend. She recognized my face from previously written articles in the Campus Times, and came over to greet me. We formally introduced ourselves, and began to talk about one article about the role of sex in relationships.We spoke for approximately 30 to 45 minutes, sharing opinions and comparing information. We both agreed that “one night stands” with strangers can prove detrimental in the long run, especially if the relationship doesn’t go beyond that night. Strictly sexual relationships do not always guarantee successful romantic relationships and abstinence, although widely preached, is barely, if ever, practiced. We also agreed that condoms, while an effective method of birth control, may not always protect against STDs.One item we came to differ on was the issue of attempting to get young people to understand the short-term consequences of one night stands. The long-term consequences were already discussed, ranging from unwanted pregnancies to STDs to general feelings of regret. However, for many young people, this may not seem as serious as to an older person. Because of their youth, young people have a sense of invincibility. They feel they can postpone, or do away with altogether, the consequences. But as one can easily attest to after paying attention to the media and just looking around, young people are dying just as fast, if not faster, than any other group. The causes of this do not only include tragic events such as suicide, but also include the many dangerous STDs out there. This alone is enough for any person to think carefully about any action. We both came up with interesting theories, each referring to the feeling of “the morning after.” From general feelings of guilt arising from not really knowing their sexual partner, people in this situation can also experience feelings of doubt as to whether the relationship will continue and feelings of confusion about whether they even wanted the sexual tryst after all.For those already in relationships, this knowledge definitely can increase the communication between the two partners. For those not yet involved, it gives a general way to judge potential mates, and allows for careful thought in the selection process. It is up to the individual to insure to give and get the best in their relationships and that strong potential feelings become more than just a one night stand. Jackson can be reached at jjackson@campustimes.org.