Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) – You’ve accomplished a lot lately. Congrats! Just don’t drop the ball now, some great opportunities are in store for you, and you don’t want to miss them.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) – Your birthday’s coming up. It’s a great time to make some changes and turn over a new leaf.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) – Classes, your friends and life in general got you down? Examine your attitude. A little adjustment will go a long way.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) – So the lack of date prospects is making you crazy. Be hopeful. A new cutie might be lurking around the corner.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) – You’ve been a great friend recently, Pisces. Keep it up. Even though it’s exhausting at times, building up your friends is an important job and no one’s better at it than you.
Aries (March 21-April 19) – Your spunky personality always livens up a room. Just don’t be too anxious to steal the spotlight. The people around you have important things to say, too.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Hidden behind your tough-guy mask is a pretty cool person who might even have a sensitive side. Don’t be afraid to open up a little. People will be impressed.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) – Stop being so fickle. The people around you are walking on eggshells, afraid you might snap at any time.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) – Stop. Breathe. You need to calm down and find a new way to manage your stress. Try yoga or meditation. You’ll be amazed at how good it can make you feel.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) – People get on your nerves and crazy stuff is stressing you out. Examine your goals and how you spend your time. You might be surprised what’s taken priority. Don’t be afraid to rearrange your schedule a bit.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – So the past hasn’t been so great. Put on those rose-colored glasses and cheer up. Tomorrow’s a brand new chance to turn things around.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) – Stop underestimating your intellect and abilities. A little confidence will go a long way. If you don’t believe in your own abilities, how do you expect others to recognize them? Share your thoughts and smarts with people. You’ll be amazed at how impressed they are.
(If you actually believe this, you probably also think that UHS is a good source of health care. This is not to be taken seriously.)