Taurus (April 20-May 20) – You might not always get all the thanks you deserve, but that’s because you deserve an awful lot. So even if people don’t say thank you all the time they’re probably thinking it.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) – Being a Gemini means that you’re in good company with some of my favorite people in the world. So just keep being yourself and your smile, sweetness, charm and even your mean streak will take you far.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) – Hey nasty! You made it through the rain. Stop being paranoid. The only way is up. Other Cancers, I recommend a date with your friends and bring your favorite “General” soap.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) – You’ll light up the room if you go to a formal anytime soon. Just trust yourself and don’t forget to keep that smile on because it matches so well with your new dress.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – Something great is waiting for you. You just have to look a couple inches under your nose to find it. Just remember great things come in little packages you just might need to take a risk to find the greatness you deserve.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct . 22) – Stop fretting the small stuff. Life could be so much worse. Make sure you go out on D-Day and have the time of your life. You deserve it!
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) – Next time you walk by the gym, next time you lay out on the Eastman Quad, next time you have a random adventure, just remember all the laughs you’ve had this year and how you’ve made someone’s year filled with much more laughter and smiles just because of you.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21) – Hopefully the summer will come before your birthday does. Just don’t forget to look good on the next summery day. And the next time your neck is stiff that means that something great is going to happen, especially in bed.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) – Surprising your best friend is one of those great treats in life for both involved. So do something creative for someone you love.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) – See Taurus.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) – Ha Ha Ha! You’re a regular riot. Keep your jokes close at hand and you’ll always be able to cheer up anyone who’s within a baseball field of you.
Aries (March 21-April 19) – From Bio to Orgo to Physio to Anthro, this year has been a long one. But you’re almost done so just crank out a little more work and you’ll go home this summer with the grades you deserve. Just don’t forget to rub the nose of Frederick Douglass’ bust in Douglass before each final.
(If you actually believe this, you need a hug. This is not to be taken seriously.)
