If you are looking for a good horror film, “Darkness Falls” is not the film for you. In fact, if you are looking for a good film of any type, “Darkness Falls” is not for you.

Like many horror films, the acting is stiff and the plot is uninteresting. In addition to those problems, I felt no sympathy for any of the characters. In fact, I was hoping they would die. Allow me to explain why.

First off, the title is not referring to the onset of night, it is the name of the town. The story opens with a legend about the town of Darkness Falls — a nice old woman was in the habit of handing out solid gold coins to any child who lost a tooth and brought it to her.

Then, through some horrific accident, she becomes allergic to sunlight. She only comes out at night, wearing a porcelain mask to hide her hideousness.

Two children go missing, so the kind old recluse is hanged, and she lays a curse upon the town. Her curse was some trite little poem that basically said that anyone who saw her face she would kill. Of course, the day after she was killed, the kids were found, safe and sound.

Flash forward to twelve years ago. The main character, Kyle, loses his last tooth, puts it under his pillow, and goes to sleep. He wakes up, the tooth fairy kills his mom and the police send him to a foster home. Now finally to present day, the little brother of the girl he almost dated is afraid of the dark. Kyle comes back to town to try to help, and they all wind up fighting the tooth fairy.

There are a number of problems with the film. The biggest however, is that the hospital — which is the setting for most of the action in the film — loses power, and the emergency lights start to go out.

Most hospitals have generators in case of power outage, to ensure that people on life support don’t die because of a blackout. The hospital in Darkness Falls, however, has emergency lights that last for about five minutes.

Do yourself a favor and don’t see this movie. There are many better films to see, none of which are as painful to watch. For instance, last weekend I also watched “Incubus” — a 1965 film starring William Shatner, performed in the invented language Esperanto. That was a more pleasing experience than “Darkness Falls,” barely.

Other activities preferable to watching “Darkness Falls” include watching grass grow, doing your homework and breaking a leg in four places.

Powell can be reached at lpowell@campustimes.org.

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