Every time I go out clubbing, I’m molested by a sketchy guy. How do I tell someone I don’t want to dance with him without being mean? ? Humped and Violated in Hoeing

Most women can identify with your situation far more vividly than they would like to admit.

The hot, moist breath that spontaneously hits the neck, the massive hands that aggressively clutch the hips and the hard apparatus that gyrates and rubs against the rear often come without warning. While some girls find this appealing, others do not.

The typical club dance floor is one of the most animalistic social scenes in existence.

Most of the movement on the dance floor these days looks more like dogs humping each other than people dancing. It is not rare to witness foreplay occurring all around you.

While dancing is an expression of sexuality for most people, sometimes people get carried away and forget that people have boundaries that should be respected.

Intentions differ when it comes to the dance milieu. For some, a club is a place to boogie down, to try out the moves from MTV videos or practice salsa steps. For others, it is a meat market. It is a socially condoned way to satisfy the groping urge.

A good example occurred during a recent senior night at Centers when my friend overheard a guy say to his friend, “The mission is pussy. Do whatever you need to do to get it.”

Countless sketchy guys, with drinks in hand, line the perimeter of the dance floor.

They visually stalk the hip-thrusting, hoochied-out girls, narrowing their sights, getting ready for the attack.

Think about it.

These horny guys that continually violate personal space have probably been reinforced by other girls at clubs in the past.

I have seen many girls willingly embrace these aggressive acts. And what is the worst that can happen to them? The constant supply of drinks from the bar strategically placed two centimeters away from the dance floor probably eases the fear of rejection to some degree.

And let’s face it ? we live in a society where men are encouraged and expected to make the first move.

A suggestion for anti-molestation is to bring some friends that can save you from unwanted attacks.

You can make an agreement to give a certain look if rescue is warranted. If you start dancing closely with someone else, the person should get the idea.

Another thing you can do is say you have a boyfriend and you just want to dance with your friends. This may not be true, but at least his feelings won’t be hurt and he can move on to his next prospect.

The important thing to remember is that you have the right to refuse to be touched in any way that is uncomfortable for you. You should directly and assertively tell the person to leave you alone.

If he doesn’t respect your request, then you need to take the appropriate measures to report this, because it is a sexual offense. Don’t worry about his feelings. Take care of yourself.


If you have any love and relationship questions that are literally, ummm ? burning, they can be sent to the love goddess herself, Joan Knihnicki. She can be reached at love@campustimes.org.

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