Yes, you heard us right ? we admit we were wrong and are planning on correcting our grievious errors. First and foremost of our list of things we’ve changed our mind on is freshman housing.
Bringing all of the freshmen together in one concentrated area is the best thing you could have done for the quality of life of students at UR ? you improved their sex life. All of the young, naive girls and guys are now concentrated in one area, so the rest of us don’t have to try very hard to get laid. Let’s face it, if you don’t get something from one freshman then there are plenty right down the hall to choose from.
The institution of freshman fellows just adds to the access. Now there will be upperclassmen around to comfort vulnerable freshmen in their first year of hardships at college. We all know where that leads.
National security cards, highly evasive strip searches at airports and profiling students are all wonderful ideas that only have our best interest in mind. Our lives would be so much safer if we have the government tracing every move we make. Just like the song ? “every breath you take, every move you make,” the U.S. Government should be watching you.
One thing we were never wrong about ? Senate.
