Are all Eastman students obsessed with their instruments? I?d like to start out by clarifying what I mean in terms of ?obsession.?

For the purposes of this article, I?m not talking about the way many of us practice for countless hours or listen to numerous recordings of our instruments.

Furthermore, I?m not going to get into the fact that many of us are able to name all brand names, makes and model numbers of our instruments.

I?m not even talking about obsession in the context of the occasional T-shirt that reads, ?Hold me, I?m a fermata.?

No ? in this article, I?m going to address the above question simply by examining how many Eastman students choose to identify themselves with their e-mail addresses and AOL Instant Messenger names. This ?internet saga? is enough by itself for more than a 500 word article.

When we arrive at Eastman for the first time, we are all given nifty little UR ?man, this looks like a serial code? e-mail addresses ? for example, jd067q@mail.rochester.edu.

However, most Eastman students opt to use a different e-mail address ? AOL, Hotmail, or Yahoo! for example ? for two basic reasons. Either we had those e-mail addresses prior to coming to school or we?ve found that the UR e-mail system just isn?t as easy to use.

Many students also take advantage of AOL?s instant messaging service and must design names for that.

When you stop to think about the psychological rationale behind how we choose to identify ourselves, the results can be pretty frightening.

To protect privacy, I?ll be using the generic @foo.com instead of the real servers.

The basicsThe initial phase of the obsession is pretty straightforward. This form involves using one?s first name and their instrument next to each other ? Joshcello@ foo.com or ClarinetSandy@ foo.com.

As members of the student body get more and more obsessed with their instruments, they likewise come up with more ?creative? names.

For your convenience, I have categorized these names.

Details, details, detailsThere are the instrument-specific names, such as the flautists? Picchick@foo.com or the bassoonists? Pancakekeyman@ foo.com.

Hot and confidentThe next group includes the arrogant musicians ? take, for example, an oboist?s Oboestud@ foo.com, a percussionist?s Solfegeking@foo.com, a clarinetist?s Reedgod@foo.com and an infamous violinist/conductor?s Virtuosicmaestro@ foo.com.

Varied and vagueThen, there are the ones where you can?t be sure what they play.

Icantmakereeds@ foo.com is an Eastman oboist?s e-mail address of choice, while Burpingbedpost@foo.com was chosen by to a bassoonist. Ihitstuff@foo.com is used by a percussionist, Imthebest@foo. com was created by a trumpet major and some names, such as Figarofigarofigaro@foo.com and Diva@foo.com, are employed by discerning vocalists.

As a tribute to last year?s hit movie, American Pie, two flautists created the addresses Onetimeatbandcamp@foo.com and Idonteatmeat@foo.com.

Then, there?s the lowly composition major with his creation ? Willdanceforfood@foo.com.

Down and dirtyFinally, there are the ones that are sometimes mistaken for something much more pornographic. A saxophonist?s Saxonthebeach@foo.com, a trombonist?s Boner@foo.com and a horn player?s Horny@ foo.com are several examples.

And then, of course, there?s Jonandhisbigorgan@ foo.com ? well, you get the point.

So, as you can see, we have concrete evidence that Eastman students are in fact obsessed with their instruments.

In actuality, I must admit that I am no exception, with jjmeyertuba@campustimes.org ? but at least I?m in good company.

Meyer can be reached at jjmeyertuba@campustimes.org.



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