One of River Campus’ many amenities is the weird variety of bathrooms we have access to. As a frequent user of bathrooms, it is my sole duty and honor to make you aware of all the best places to do all the best things. As a female presenting and identifying person, these will all be either women’s or gender neutral bathrooms, as I’m worried about the implications of going into a men’s bathroom and saying, “It’s for journalism.”

Gavett 2 Women’s: One of those STEM bathrooms where you’ll always be alone. I’ve sat in here for 20 minutes at a time avoiding responsibility and been completely alone in a world of peace. There’s also an air freshener to lighten any ill-will you may feel about dropping your business in there. 9/10

Wegmans 1 Women’s: Also super quiet. I once cried in here aggressively with little to no interruption. Maybe that has something to do with the lack of women in STEM? Also close to Peet’s, so a great pit stop on your way to picking up your post-breakdown iced coffee. 10/10

Hutch 1 Women’s: This bathroom gets a lot of hate, but it’s really not that bad. It even has a fun automatic door. Definitely more busy than the other science quad options, but if you absolutely need a bathroom, I wouldn’t avoid this one. 6/10

Hutch 4 Women’s: If you thought Hutch 1 was cursed, boy, do I have news for you. I don’t think there’s a single female in the Chemistry department who’s advocating for this bathroom. Avoid at all costs. Pee in a flask instead and say it’s for research. -4/10

Harkness 1 Gender Neutral: Acceptable. The lock is a little funny which makes me nervous, as does being in a Political Science building. This bathroom is generally clean and quiet though. 7/10

Lower Hoyt Women’s: Too busy because it’s in a transition hallway. I never have any privacy. Also not very clean, although the paint stains make it look cool. Overall, not a great experience, but convenient, if anything. 4/10

Morey 2 Women’s: Famous. Infamous. I go here probably once a day and still have it to myself almost every time. It’s also nice to read the walls and see what people were thinking at some point in their life. Even if you don’t have to go, I’d still go check it out. 11/10

Morey 3 Women’s: Yucky. Too busy and the toilets always have this weird colored water and strange smell. Wouldn’t recommend. Just take the few extra steps to Morey 2. 3/10

Dewey 1 Women’s: Acceptable. Also has a weird water color (seriously, what’s up with that, Eastman Quad?) but relatively clean. A very good alternative to the Hoyt bathroom if you’re in need of a midday cry. 7/10

LeChase 1 Gender Neutral: One of them has a shower. Why? You know. Showering in an academic building. 7/10

Lam Square Gender Neutral: Fun because it’s a large gender neutral bathroom. Bad because it smells like a small animal has died in there no matter the time of day. The stench is so offensive it might be a new form of gender discrimination in itself. -3/10

iZone Women’s: People hate on this bathroom a lot, but personally, I like how crushingly small it is. As a 5’10” woman, this bathroom makes me feel like a giant. But that’s really the only purpose it serves. 4/10

Sue B. 1 Women’s: Very, very busy. There’s always a Dining Services worker in there spilling tea about something in their life. Good if you’re looking for entertainment, not for privacy or cleanliness. 2/10

Genesee 3 Gender Neutral: Nice spot for reflecting on the meaning of life. This bathroom feels like a little pocket dimension away from the perils of the University. Just stare in a mirror for half an hour. Highly recommended. 8/10

Genesee 4-7 Residential Gender Neutral: Always disgusting. A Russian roulette of disease. COVID-19 actually originated in these bathrooms, and in all honesty, I might have contributed to it. Still, the private shower is nice. 3/10

Tagged: bathrooms campus


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