You know those cravings you get at 1 a.m. in the middle of exam season? The ones that convince you to walk to Hillside in the middle of a snowstorm just for a slice of cheesecake? 

Well, I have those, too. But instead of craving something normal and yummy like ice cream or cookies, I’ve been craving cauliflower.

I know; half of you stopped reading just now. It’s okay. Honestly, I get it. For those of you who stuck around, let’s talk vegetables. 

Unlike those terrifyingly healthy food bloggers, my recent adventures in vegetables stemmed from an existential crisis concerning global warming. 

It turns out food production is one of the highest producers of the greenhouse gases that contribute to the breakdown of Earth’s ozone layer. And one of the simplest ways to make a difference is by eating more vegetables and less meat and cheese. 

So I’ve been forcing myself to eat more vegetables to convince myself Earth can exist after 2050. And just like those terrifying food bloggers say, it has become a habit. 

Now, I don’t just chow down on raw broccoli stems for lunch. Blech, gross. Instead, I like to dress up the vegetables, and it turns out the real trick to making them taste good is a perfect seasoning blend. 

And let me tell you, I’ve become obsessed with one of my own creations: olive oil, garlic salt, white pepper, and dill. The concoction is cooked at 375 F for 20-30 minutes, during which you move the vegetables around in 10 minute increments. This works on just about any vegetable you can roast. Plus, it’s so good it’s been proven to cause cravings 😉

Here, I offer a little sage (ha) advice: I know many Gen Z’ers got caught up in the craze surrounding Trader Joe’s “Everything But the Bagel” seasoning blend, but this particular blend lacks the aromatics that enhance vegetables to make them, well, edible. To really bring out the best in your vegetables, you need a seasoning combination that includes a plant. Think of spices like rosemary, thyme, basil, tarragon, marjoram, oregano, savory, and bay leaf.

If you don’t want to go to the store and buy a bunch of seasonings, try getting a jar of herbes de Provence. Herbes de Provence contains most of the principle aromatics, and with just a little olive oil and salt, your food can taste that much better. 

Eating responsibly is about so much more than “eating healthy.” It’s just as important to eat food you enjoy. If you crave cheesecake, eat cheesecake. If you want to opt for the more environmentally-friendly head of cauliflower, eat cauliflower. 

After all, living to 2050 isn’t worth much if you aren’t happy.

Life is pay to win. College? The giant paywall

For a game that preaches freedom of choice, there are an awful lot of decisions essentially made for us. Exhibit A: the decision to play at all.

“Destroyed by mouth sounds:” a cappella demolition

His basic game plan: attract attention with a high D and wrist flourish to distract passerby, while the demolition team’s other members bulldoze campus property with equipment rescued from that one Elmwood Avenue construction site.

Life and college students: a mutual hatred

It’s been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. I hate everyone and everyone hates me. I crawl into bed at 8 p.m., face my pillow, and scream into the void.