1. A cop chased victims who shot him with a paintball.

Nobody in the chase got away cleanly.

2. A home intruder was caught by cops lurking around Farmer Brown’s cornfield. 

He is being labeled as the “Corn Stalker”.

3. Apes at a Louisiana Zoo sang loudly enough to serenade all of its visitors.

“Swingin’ with the Apes” will be their first released single.

4. A dead lion was found in a freezer of a restaurant during an inspection.

Simba? Sim-burrrr.

5. A man dressed as Elmo was  arrested for panhandling.

“On my way to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to the Nightmare on Elmo Street?” 

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.



Freshman SA members elected, confirmed

Eight newly-elected first-years were confirmed to the Students' Association Senate and Class Council on Monday.

College Diversity Roundtable discusses conduct policy changes, Bias-Related Incident Report, world events messaging

The College Diversity Roundtable discussed code of conduct changes, the upcoming Bias-Related Incident Report, and administrative messaging about world events at their first meeting of the year.

Latte art in Rochester: Ugly Duck Coffee

Van Grol finds that the best place to go when you’re in a new place is the coffee shop. “I think that's my tidbit. If you're traveling or exploring somewhere new, find a coffee shop and ask the people working and,how to explore their cities and towns and places.”