After a rigorous lab session, I decided to get a piece of candy at The Common Market, but that isn’t always an easy decision. I realized that any piece of candy would qualify as a good choice, but I wanted to make the best choice. I glanced at the Airheads first. However, the phrase “you are what you eat” prevented me from making this choice.
With this logic, I figured I could get a pack of Nerds, just to fit into the UR scene. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day was last week, so I couldn’t go with the SweetTarts. I asked the candy salesperson to hand me a Butterfinger, and sure enough, I opened it and immediately dropped it on the floor. He gave me a break and offered me a Kit-Kat as consolation, but I didn’t want to take the Kit-Kat. I have nothing against Kit-Kats. I actually really like them, unless I’m with four people.
Nevertheless, back to the drawing board. I enjoy eating peanut butter cups, but I don’t like to steal. After all, they weren’t mine – they’re Reese’s. M&M’s are good if you’re starving and want to eat a hundred of something, but I didn’t feel like getting the dye on my hands. I considered going for the simple jaw-breaker, but the only thing they’re good for is a dentist’s paycheck. A decision had to be made.
I was running out of time, and the last thing I wanted was to be choco-late to class. The song “I Want Candy” by the Strangeloves had been pounding my eardrums for the past three minutes, and I was drowning in an ocean of choices. I could really use a life saver, I thought.
Wait, that was it! I was going to go with the Life Saver. It was an obvious choice, one I should’ve seen from the beginning.
Honestly, the two of us were mint to be together.
Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.