After a rigorous lab session, I decided to get a piece of candy at The Common Market, but that isn’t always an easy decision. I realized that any piece of candy would qualify as a good choice, but I wanted to make the best choice. I glanced at the Airheads first. However, the phrase “you are what you eat” prevented me from making this choice.

With this logic, I figured I could get a pack of Nerds, just to fit into the UR scene. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day was last week, so I couldn’t go with the SweetTarts. I asked the candy salesperson to hand me a Butterfinger, and sure enough, I opened it and immediately dropped it on the floor. He gave me a break and offered me a Kit-Kat as consolation, but I didn’t want to take the Kit-Kat. I have nothing against Kit-Kats. I actually really like them, unless I’m with four people.

Nevertheless, back to the drawing board. I enjoy eating peanut butter cups, but I don’t like to steal. After all, they weren’t mine – they’re Reese’s. M&M’s are good if you’re starving and want to eat a hundred of something, but I didn’t feel like getting the dye on my hands. I considered going for the simple jaw-breaker, but the only thing they’re good for is a dentist’s paycheck. A decision had to be made.

I was running out of time, and the last thing I wanted was to be choco-late to class. The song “I Want Candy” by the Strangeloves had been pounding my eardrums for the past three minutes, and I was drowning in an ocean of choices. I could really use a life saver, I thought.

Wait, that was it! I was going to go with the Life Saver. It was an obvious choice, one I should’ve seen from the beginning.

Honestly, the two of us were mint to be together.

Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.

‘The Needle’: in no particular order

The more I think about 'The Needle,' the more I seem to enjoy it.

A Day in the Life: Todd Theatre’s “Fellowship” actor

Written by Sam Chanse, directed by Dominique Rider, and commissioned through alumna Natalie Hurst ‘74 and the New Voice Initiative, the show exhibits the interpersonal conflicts between four women of color as they navigate both a liberally-sensitive workplace and how the differences between them and their colleagues affect their insecurities and treatment of each other.

The ‘Try Guys’ try: putting the finishing blow on ‘wife guy’ culture

To all the self-proclaimed “wife guys” that we loved before: so long, sweethearts.