Opinions

Take off your socks, dress up your cocks

Good day, ladies and gents. I’m here to talk about an important issue that is usually uncomfortably avoided, with the exception of fourth and fifth grade health classes. Thats right­—sex, or the “birdies and the beesies,” if you prefer. A tough week is coming to the end, and I know I have been looking forward […]

Defend Planned Parenthood

The House of Representatives recently passed a bill to cut federal funding to Planned Parenthood. Predictably, this sparked outrage over the right of the House to decide the future of sexual health for countless Americans. Let’s explore the biggest reason this bill was even conceived. In defense of the bill, Rep. Gus Bilirakis, R-Fla. said […]

Making an honest effort

While you’re away, your suitemate sees your half-finished homework on the table. He notices how you solved one of the problems, and, being in the same class, he uses your work to guide his own. Did you know you are guilty of negligence, a form of academic dishonesty? The College of Arts, Sciences and Engineering […]

Toeing the punchline

There’s a fine line between comedy and offensiveness. Ask anyone about a certain offensive comment, and there’ll be a mix of people proclaiming it as a horrible remark or heralding it as a wonderful joke. Where that line lies is a question that comedians have been asking for decades. And, now that society is pushing […]

The Pope is just a man

Editor’s Note: ‘No Comment’ is a new column by Jesse Bernstein featuring perspectives on politics, culture and current events. It helps to smile. Pope Francis, unlike that gargoyle Benedict before him, seems to carry one with him wherever he goes. Whether he’s visiting the poor and afflicted a world away, issuing encyclicals about climate change […]

After 24 years, Kashmir waits without justice

Here, in the Western world, few people know about Kashmir, except for its famous cashmere wool. But, back in Southern Asia, it’s known as “Paradise on Earth.” Kashmir is located in the Himalayan Mountains, and one look at its beauty is enough to amaze the onlooker. But, below the surface, this beautiful land is engulfed […]

Fight the patriarchy, with pockets

Last week, I purchased a new pair of jeans through the magical world of online shopping. Now, jeans are a very complex piece of clothing that have to fit perfectly in all the right places. Purchasing jeans without trying them on runs the high risk of staring at your behind for approximately seven-and-a-half minutes and […]

Seeking refuge: With Syrians displaced en masse, we need to uphold our virtues

It’s a testament to our arguably valid cynicism about national politics that so many core American axioms have become occasion to roll our eyes. It’s torture to hear politicians use the rhetoric of “the city on a hill,” “the land of opportunity” and “the nation of immigrants,” not because these creeds are false—they’re not—but because […]

Dining’s disservice

It’s 10 p.m. on a Wednesday, and you’re swamped with work—mounds of reading, a pack of merciless math problems and enough Blackboard discussion posts to make your stomach churn. Empty coffee cups lay littered around your desk in Rush Rhees Library. The situation is bleak. Four hours later, you let your notebook fall to the […]

Tim Tebow: the QB you deserve

After the first weekend of the NFL season, half of the teams will be entering the second week of the season with a losing record. This is expected. One other fact comes to mind when recapping the week—Tim Tebow did not play a down. Why? The Eagles had cut him. As someone who does not […]
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