Student affairs representatives from Delta Upsilon (DU) voted on an amendment to the student code of conduct for the upcoming calendar year. The updated code of conduct features a new hazing training program for all first year students, regardless of fraternity or sorority affiliation. Changes to the code of conduct are as follows:
A *FREE* chartreuse t-shirt, featuring the words “NO HAZING” in bright red text. DU members state that “[The shirt] promotes a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood [and themhood] among new students. It is a great way to get to know your classmates!” This shirt is to be worn day and night and through every (optional) shower. Wearing the shirt in the shower allows for the conservation of water (#green), as it gets both the wearer AND the shirt clean at the same time! 🙂
Aside from getting a *FREE* shirt, students must learn about what constitutes hazing. Every day of Welcome Week, students are subject to random hazing quizzes and drills. Questions could look like “Who was the first person to ever be hazed at URochester?” and “How many words was the follow-up essay written by the fraternity?” and other well-known trivia questions (brush up on your flashcards!).
Drills may include new and improved teaching methods such as stealing candy from babies, plugging their ears after asking a yes or n# question, and learning how to “make sure people get home safe from their 7 p.m. labs.” Should a student fail one of these drills, the mandatory punishment consists of getting pied in only the comfort of your Welcome Week t-shirt in Wilson Quad after convocation!
The final update to the code of conduct lays grounds for what University President Sarah C. Mangelsdorf describes as “a new URochester tradition.” This new tradition gives the first-years the privilege of sleeping on the Gleason library floors. The first-years will be instructed to sleep on the floors until the library closes (catch my drift?). Should they be caught by a member of DU, their stay will be extended for an extra 24 hours *FREE* of charge! This also extends the wearing of their *FREE* Welcome Week anti-anti-hazing shirt (hooray!). After they finish their stay in Gleason, they are allowed to learn that Gleason does not close.
This new change to the code of conduct presented by DU is described as being especially formative in the camaraderie between members of the incoming class, and critics are calling it “the best preventative measure for hazing, as kids will know what it feels like. This will deter them from doing it themselves when they all join DU.”
DU would also like to take this time to invite students to stay after convocation for a secret little event (winky face winky face). They would also like to advise those attending (not the first-years) to bring a ski mask, a professional lock picking kit, and five dollars for admission.
