Horoscope

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) ? You?ve got it. Ambition is key ? make sure you use it in good will. Watch out during the end of the month, some people?s sincerity might be as real as Cher?s nose.Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) ? Give yourself a pat on the back. You?ve been a good friend to someone special. If you had a New Year?s resolution, it will most likely fall flat on its face and be run over by a cement truck. Aries (March 21-April 19) ? For once try to commit. Change is just a part of life?s cycle. Try to embrace it. Did you expect the world to stop rotating for you? The sad thing is that you probably did.Taurus (April 20-May 20) ? Separation is a bitch. Don?t bring yourself down with the tumultuous nature of relationships. Put that tiara back on and start hunting again.Gemini (May 21- June 21) ? Kindness is one of your beautiful traits, but it will not take you anywhere. Make use of those sharp claws on the nearest full moon.Cancer (June 22 – July 22) ? So what if life is a pain? Get your tushie up and figure it out, but with your narcissistic nature that is as likely to happen as a successful upcoming presidential term.Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) ? That attitude has to go. Stay true to the people you care about most, you never know when you?ll get a flat tire. By the way, use that declining balance now, or else you?ll be busy buying Torani syrup bottles from the coffee shop at the end of the semester.Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) ? Don?t dwell on the past. It?s time to pack your dirty laundry and move on. Putting salt on a wound will only make it hurt some more.Libra (Sept. 23-Oct . 22) ? Stay focused, sweetie. That thing in your cranium won?t last forever, so put it to good use. You might also want to get to classes on time. Contrary to what you might believe, some professors won?t believe you still have your clock on daylight savings time. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) ? Pick between Jekyll and Hyde. Don?t be a stereotype and immediately turn to extremes. Take it step by step, honey. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) ? Navet drove M.C. Hammer to bankruptcy. Find out who your real friends are. Backstabbers are everywhere, sometimes even in front of you.Capricorn (Dec. 22- Jan. 19) ? Your life right now feels like a ?VH1 Behind the Music? episode. Pessimism follows you like a hound follows a fox. However, your stars indicate the only way is up. If you actually believe this, you?ve been eating too much Danforth grub. This is not to be taken seriously.