A scar never fades away, but does every wound scar? The point of this seemingly-abstract dilemma relates to a much larger question — when is it the right time to let go? Based on my experience, there never really is a right time but instead a culmination of moments, moments that channel realization.
From a rather young age, I have been inquisitive of what constitutes the definition of healing. From a naïve, baseline understanding of it as an adolescent, my version of “healing” has continually shifted shape, transforming into a complex, misconstrued theme based on the present setting of my life. What people often don’t realize is that the process has various nuances that define and represent you. How one deals with the healing process is a direct reflection of their thoughts, beliefs, and moral behavior. Therefore, when an individual goes through an internal transformation, one must identify and confront the source of these realizations to create a strong foundation.
Here’s my perspective, from a teenager being displaced, finding myself in constantly changing settings as a result of ambitious parents chasing their dreams. I understood at a young age that almost everything that lights an emotional flare in you eventually fizzles out to varying degrees. Hence, treat every instance as a learning experience. Understand why it made you feel that way; be comfortable with exploring the harsher aspects of it and eventually realize that you’re accountable for just yourself and nobody else. Internalizing will only get you so far in your own eyes; respect the version of yourself you’re meant to be and work towards being the person you should be proud to be.
Look forward to the future, but don’t get lost in it. If you manage to connect your current, growing self to your expectations and end goals, it’ll free you from the past. Create affirmations to foster change and counteract negative thoughts. These affirmations could be as simple as a simple reminder on your phone, having a conversation with someone you trust, or sitting yourself down and putting pen to paper.
So, when you go through an event that doesn’t sit right, take the time to explain the situation to yourself and compartmentalize. Segregate yourself from the situation and focus on aspects of it that bolster your character, even if it’s uncomfortable in the moment. The most balanced thing to naturally pursue when you’re out of place is make sure you put an end to it, let it out and rationalize it with patience. Take accountability for your part because at the end of the day, you’re the only one that decides what you take from an experience. Begin on the right note and you’ll see everything fall into place if you stick to it. One day you’ll wake up and you’ll realize that you’re satisfied by what you’re learning about yourself — that’s your very own moment and it’ll be enough.