The Campus Times would like to formally apologize for a CT tradition that the public has recently become aware of and has caused some outrage. The CT tradition reflects poorly on us as an organization, and we offer our sincere apology to those who were offended. One of the Campus Times’ goals is to be as transparent as possible with the public, so we wish to take this opportunity to explain the history of the Campus Times’ quote wall and reveal some of the material that was of particular interest to the community.
The Campus Times office located in Wilson Commons is the home to not only losers who don’t have anything better to do with their Sundays, but a quote wall. The quote wall has been a decades-long fixture of the Campus Times, from pot-heads of the 80s to pot-heads of today.
The quote wall is exactly what it sounds like. If a Campus Times staff member says something particularly noteworthy, their words will be written on a blank piece of paper and hung on the wall, because we are narcissists. The Campus Times has historically been staffed by the most obnoxious and narcissistic people you have ever met, which checks out because who else thinks their thoughts and contributions are so important that they dedicate 10-20 hours a week to sharing them.
What has caused some to be particularly upset is some of the content on the wall. The Campus Times has chosen to share material from the wall below with the aim of transparency.
“My plans to start a frat war are moving along slowly. A picture of the flag I stole from Psi U and placed in Chi Phi has made it onto Instagram, so I’m expecting someone’s window to be broken by a brick soon.”
“The engineering quad looks like a Soviet prison — anyway, my father had these wonderfully ROUGH hands…”
“I sadly lost the office bet on how long it was going for someone to try to argue how Jaeger was actually the victim. My thinking was $9.4 million dollars meant 9.4 years before someone attempted that.”
“There are too many Jews in the Campus Times… we control the media.”
“Who doesn’t love toxic masculinity? That’s why we have our alumni events.”
“Is it racism if it’s on the moon?”
The Campus Times apologizes for these quotes and will try to be funnier in the future. CT would like to also quickly apologize for another CT scandal that the UR community found out about this week. CT would like to apologize to those who have impacted by a CT hazing ritual, where new writers were forced to write news articles based on their personal sex experiences. CT recognizes this is not the best way to show that we get bitches, and we promise to do better in the future.