I’ve never been someone who gets homesick, but the prospect of going home in a few days is one of the few things keeping me going. It has been a stressful semester to say the least, and it’s been around three months since I’ve cooked in my beloved kitchen, gone for a run in my neighborhood, or showered without shoes. I’m looking forward to seeing my family and friends, and, of course, consuming enormous amounts of food. But despite my excitement, I’ve been having some Thanksgiving break-induced anxiety. Just thinking about it stresses me out. It’s a bit trivial, but I feel like I’m under a time crunch trying to fit so many things into just a few days. Will I have time to see all my friends, spend time with family, and get my work done? I would like to just go with the flow for a few days, but I can’t help but plan everything out. I feel this need to maximize my days off, or it won’t have been worth the effort of going home.
I’m definitely still grateful that I am able to go home, but it’s strange because I’ve never associated Thanksgiving with being anxious before. Maybe I feel this way because it’s my first year, and I’m still not quite used to the idea of living somewhere else for half of the year. As the 25th of November approaches, I’ve realized that breaks in college are different from high school. Teachers usually didn’t give work over break and I could relax the entire time, but it doesn’t exactly work that way here. I guess you could theoretically get things done beforehand, but who has that kind of self-discipline? Definitely not me.
I really don’t want due dates looming over me when all I want to do is enjoy some pie. Everyone has been so busy this semester, and it’s difficult to relax knowing that we have assignments due as soon as class resumes. The fact that reading period starts only 10 days after break doesn’t help either. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to how fast college moves. Finals week and winter break is going to be here before we know it, and that is slightly terrifying.
Even though I feel this mixture of excitement and anxiety, the break has put some things about my first semester of college into perspective. Despite how many hours of work or studying I did, my to-do list never seemed to end and it was hard to catch a breath. I was so busy that I barely had time to stop and think about what I had accomplished. I’ve met so many new people and become part of clubs that I’m passionate about. The to-do list will still be there over break, but it’s nice to look back and see that I managed to get through most of the semester pretty successfully. I’m still thankful for my family and friends as usual, but this year I’m especially thankful for myself.