Acta, non verba

You bring the University value and add the dollar signs to the piece of paper they sell to thousands of families every year. Without you, this school is worthless. 

A letter to future UR kids

You can be bent over for two reasons at this school — either you're laughing so hard you can’t breathe, or you’re getting fucked over.

My love, cheesecake

I love you, cheesecake, and everything you are to me.