Bernie Sanders (remember him?) announced today that he plans to continue campaigning virtually amid social distancing orders.

The extent to which Sanders will manage to operate a computer on his own without the help of a teenage IT intern earning $15 per hour is unclear.

Yet Sanders’ new campaign efforts have shown promise, and he hopes that such a seismic shift in American life from the coronavirus pandemic strengthens his case. A pandemic places increased importance on healthcare. The current American healthcare system is tied to employment, which prompts problems for many as unemployment rates increase at a record speed. 

Policy wonks point out that under Sanders’ Medicare for All proposal, you wouldn’t have to pay to be told that your hospital has run out of ventilators. It is believed that Sanders’ communications staff is working on better wording for such a point, however. A spokesman for Joe Biden’s campaign deftly responded to increased calls for Medicare for All with an emphatic and insightful “No comment.”

Sanders’ campaign is also playing up climate change prevention as an important issue related to coronavirus. Supporters have begun putting signs in their lawn with lists of things caused by climate change, including COVID-19, melting ice caps, natural disasters, and Sanders’ glasses fogging up.

Given Sanders’ old age, some supporters have expressed concern for the candidate’s health. Luckily, he lives in Vermont, which has very few coronavirus cases, and even fewer people. It does have a lot of cows, though, which has some voters concerned about mad cow disease.

“Hopefully soon, our doctors and researchers will come up with a cure,” Sanders said in a speech. “Then the American people can get back to work, which includes me returning to my job of losing primaries to Joe Fucking Biden.”



Bernie Sanders continues to exist

As 2025 comes to a close, it’s well time to honor the abundance of musical works that have come out this year. From albums to singles to soundtracks and more, this calendar year has welcomed some innovative, catchy, and profound pieces, many of which striking the hearts and ears of our campus community. Thus, the […]

Bernie Sanders continues to exist

Red Watch Band holds monthly training sessions in Wilson Commons, which include  learning activities such as group discussions and role-play. Read More

Bernie Sanders continues to exist

Edward G. Miner Library, located on the first floor of URMC, serves as the medical center’s main academic health sciences library, with patrons including patients, staff, students, and faculty. Established in 1925 as part of URMC, Miner Library was built originally in the middle of the medical center to symbolize unity, bringing together the clinical […]