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Help wanted! After everyone’s mass resignation event during the production of our previous issue, the Campus Times is now in shambles.

Jane Remover “Revengeseekerz” follows no rules

Forget Playboi Carti — Jane has embraced the popular rage sound that is dominating rap right now but injected it with steroids and cybernetic limbs to create a blown-out, techno-orgy of throttling beats, sassy vocals, and tuneful melodies.

Bird Flu? I sure hope they did!

We asked her if she’s ever seen one of these species fly before, when they wanted to, of course. Duck let out a nervous chuckle and flushed bright red, fidgeting in her chair.